Quotes from Internet meme

You are going to be fine — you come from a long line of lunatics.

Bacon, n. The main reason you're not a vegetarian.

Dear taco trucks: Please consider cruising the neighborhoods like ice cream trucks.

Why is Monday so far from Friday, and yet Friday is so near to Monday?

Work on Monday?! My mind is telling me no, but my wallet says yes.

It's Monday. Grab some coffee and be awesome!

Busier than a Mosquito at a Nudist Colony

There are two times of year: October and waiting for October.

Chive got you, babe. We're mint to be together.

Eat, drink, and be rosemary.

Thyme is of the essence.

The office party is a great place to meet everyone you've been emailing from ten feet away.

Jokes about menstrual cycles are not funny. Period.

Practice safe text — use commas and never miss a period.

Year 2020 Humor. — Kids in the future will have to endure an entire school year of History class devoted just to the year 2020.

My favorite season is pumpkin spice.

Keep calm and pumpkin spice everything.

"That's what." —She

Sarcasm: It's how I hug.

I'm fluent in bad puns and sarcasm.

It's Saturday — should I just sit down and do nothing or lay down and do nothing?

Scorpions are a mix of lobsters, spiders, wasps, and nightmares.

I've never been skydiving, but I have zoomed in on Google Earth really fast.

Sleep deprivation is my drug of choice.