Quotes from Internet meme

Thursday — it's Friday, Jr!

Thursday is Friday Eve!

I love you from my head tomatoes!

I am broccoli, and I look like a tree. I am a walnut, and I look like a brain. I am a mushroom, and I hate this game.

All mushrooms are edible — but some only once.

I have so mushroom in my heart for you!

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

* Monday * Tuesday * Wednesday * Thursday * Friday * I blinked * Monday

Weekend forecast: mostly drunk with a chance of regret

My weekend plans — to move just enough so no one thinks I'm dead.

Tick tock— It's wine o'clock!

If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a pretty creepy place.

The age of pumpkin spice is over — the time of the peppermint mocha has come.

Aries: "I was going to do that but then you told me to."

Aries are just drunk Capricorns.

A Gemini is a cross between a drunk and a genius.

Gemini — Stubborn. Trustworthy. Sarcastic. Real AF. Socially selective. Destructive when provoked.

Leos don't need anger management — they just need for people to stop angering them.

Virgo: "You missed a spot."

Sagittarius — They don't mean to interrupt, they just randomly remember things and get excited.

Capricorn: "If you don't like me, that's your problem not mine."

Pisces — remembers things that happened 25 years ago, forgets things that happened 5 seconds ago

Exercise! — because zombies will eat the slow ones first.

Ruth is Truth