Quotes from Internet meme

There are two times of year: autumn and waiting for autumn.

There's a technical term for a sunny, warm day which follows two rainy days. It's called Monday.

Make beard, not war.

Beer is just dream-flavored water.

It's never too late to become what you want to be. Unless you want to be younger.

I love you with every pizza my heart.

Cupcake: party muffin

Morning after Halloween: I'm never eating candy again. An hour later: Oh look, candy!

Toddlers take half an hour to get a pair of shoes on but can open 5 apps, delete your photos, and call your boss all within 16 seconds.

Eat brownie then brush teeth — York peppermint patty!

I want someone to look at me the same way I look at chocolate.

Don't ever let a recipe tell you how many chocolate chips to use. You measure that [$#*t] with your heart.

Cold winter weather is snow laughing matter.

Debugging — the classic mystery game where you are the victim, the detective, and the murderer.

Ruth Graves Wakefield, inventor of the chocolate chip cookie — and the greatest hero in American history!

My jeans say "No more chocolate chip cookies!" But my leggings say "Brrring it on!"

Don't quit your day dream.

Changing to Daylight Saving Time on Sunday should always be followed by a national holiday on Monday.

Is Daylight Saving Time a form of time travel?

I thought "clean eating" was devouring cupcakes while mopping the floor.

Friends are sprinkles on the donut of life.

I'm into fitness — fitness donut into my mouth.

I'm into fitness — fitness cupcake into my mouth.

I'm into fitness — fitness entire slice of pizza in my mouth.