Quotes from Internet meme

Exercise?! I thought you said "extra slice."

While I was out running this morning I heard someone clapping, but it was just my thighs cheering me on.

I'm so tired, my tired is tired.

Fibromyalgia is a pain in the neck — and my shoulders, head, elbows, knees, back, hips, feet... sometimes even my hair hurts.

If you accidentally fart loudly in public, just yell "Jet power!" and start walking a lot faster.

It's Friday o'clock!

You know what rhymes with Friday? Alcohol.

Friday — superhero of the workweek!

Hey there Friday, you sexy beast. I've been looking for you since Monday.

Grammar makes the difference between feeling you're nuts and feeling your nuts.

Downward-facing dog helps us to paws and reflect.

Yoga-ish, adj. liking the idea of yoga but only showing up for Savasana

I don't always do yoga — but when I do, it's because I'm trying to reach a new roll of toilet paper while sitting on the toilet.

I thought I'd try yoga to make myself more flexible — but I'm still incredibly stubborn.

Come on inner peace — I don't have all day.

Home is where the wi-fi connects automatically.

Satan called. He wants his weather back.

Laundry: Washing — 30 minutes Drying — 60 minutes Putting away — 7 to 10 business days

I dusted once. It came back. I'm not falling for that again.

I fought the lawn and the lawn won.

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say, "I know it's hard. You're going to be okay. Here's a coffee and 5 million dollars."

WebMD is like one of those choose your own adventure books where the result is always death.

Murder hornets: because 2020 wasn't bad enough.

One simply does not drive home from McDonald's without eating any fries.