Quotes from Greg Gutfeld

I actually hate lyrics, and I hate it when they're quoted in reviews. I don't think they matter that much; it's the sounds of words - not the words - that I look for.

Listening to a FNM record is like a visit from a mysterious relative who knows more about your family than you did.

We are all better served by objectively diagnosing trolls so they can change.

FNM didn't really become one of my favorite all-time bands until after I'd had all their records for a couple of years. And realized I was playing them every day.

2017 may have been that year when identity politics hit a brick wall - and slumped limply on the pavement.

Something to keep in mind, whether you adore Obama or Trump: Drooling toadyism is not a good look on either side, and it paves the way for evil. Because while hate can drive people to do many things, love permits leaders to do all things - none of them good.

The rise of ISIS, the orgy of identity politics, and the political changes they brought - how could Obama not see that coming? I blame the golf.

Most Americans don't shout their politics, much less blast it from their TVs while serving you fried pickles - that's the Left.

Ariel Pink would be a regular on the Mike Douglas Show. Both a master songwriter and a charismatic figure, he'd wander the set like a cherubic, more likable Jim Morrison. His songs would be all over KFRC - the way Boz Scaggs ruled for one summer with 'Silk Degrees.'

Social justice warriors want to return to the Dark Ages when you communicated with a club instead of joining one.

Trump represented a movement of dissatisfaction, the dissent, unhappiness, division cultivated by years of identity politics and the bullying of arrogant, insufferable, intolerant social justice warriors who used the last two terms to punish anyone who reminded them of Daddy.

Back in the days of world wars, American companies didn't think twice about pitching in to help fight the enemy. Car companies helped bolster tanks, food companies created rations - sometimes they had to do it, but no one had to twist their arm.

'Sol Invictus' works like your basic FNM record: the sequencing is an artful job, hustling you politely through all the gentle, harsh, weird surprises that follow - and then when it's over, you get back on the ride and start over, just like Space Mountain.

When you have a TV show or when you are running a magazine, you have to remember that your audience isn't rich. They're not made of money.

Being a conservative on campus is like bing a goat amongst the taliban. You are never safe.

The media is Obama's scandal condom.

I want to make a positive point of Ikea. It makes income inequality a minor distraction.

Good people suddenly don't turn bad.

It's pointless to get all huffy about stuff.

I know that, often, people in entertainment are surrounded by 'yes' men who tell you everything is 'go.' That's never been an issue for me.

Celebrities are the doormats to power.

If Russia had the same military power that America did, earth would be called Russia.

When someone in power declares that something is broken that means it's actually fine. What they're really saying is, "Let's change this so I like it and ruin it." Nothing is ever broken.

Is your relationship strong enough to survive a trip to Ikea? Is their furniture strong enough to survive a relationship? Have you ever bought a bed there?