Quotes from Jasper Fforde

Governments and fashions come and go but Jane Eyre is for all time. I would give everything to ensure the novel's survival.

Soothsayers are like that. They see many futures but never their own.

Hamlet would worry about having nothing to worry about if he had nothing to worry about

If you look into someone else's dreams, all you ever find are nightmares.

I]appreciate a woman who knows when she's being coerced

Death cannot be avoided forever, but it can be postponed - in that respect it's very like the washing up.

Of all the Winter Service Industries, the Winter Consul was the most dangerous. Few who joined expected to last out the decade, yet recruitment was never much of a problem. You didn't find the job, they said, it found you. No-one ever who entered the Winter voluntarily wasn't trying to leave something behind.

The most favorite boy's name is James; the least favorite is Gzxkls.

To take so much punctuation in one hit initially sounds audacious, but perhaps the thief thought no one would notice as most readers never get that far into Ulysses—you will recall the theft of chapter sixty-two from Moby-Dick, where no one noticed?

Feedback loops, echo chambers, circular reinforcement. All could play a part in escalating the utterly imaginary to the level of reality, sometimes with fatal consequences.

I found Jane, too, or perhaps she found me. It doesn't really matter. We found each other. And although she was Grey and I was Red, we shared a common thirst for justice that transcended Chromatic politics. I loved her, and what's more, I was beginning to think that she loved me. After all, she did apologize before she pushed me into the leafless expanse below the spread of the yateveo, and she wouldn't have done that if she'd felt nothing.

I hate to admit it, but governmental deviousness is usually better explained by incompetence, vanity, and the need to protect one's job at all costs.

Goodness is weakness, pleasantness is poisonous, serenity is mediocrity, and kindness is for losers.

This must have been how it all began with Chymes," sighed Jack. "A small omission on one case, an 'embellishment' on the next. The question is not about what's best but what's right. Chymes had confused the two and compromised not only his own integrity but that of the police—and the due process of law.

Joffy had decided many years before that the problem with religion wasn't religion itself but its flagrant misuse as an absolutist argument to promote narrow tribal agendas.

Inspector Turner's hope to marry a wealthy Mr. Right and leave the service stayed just that—a hope—as so often Mr. Right turned out to be either Mr. Liar, Mr. Drunk or Mr. Already Married.

when my mind was young and the barrier between reality and make-believe had not yet hardened into the shell that cocoons us in adult life.

Although helpful, a disembodied hand on the Bugatti's steering wheel was a bit creepy, especially because this one was hairy and had No More Pies tattooed on the back.

He said you were very dangerous. No more dangerous than anyone else who dares to speak the truth.

You'll also be pleased to know that no resident has been eaten in their sleep here for almost thirty-seven years.

In order to fail, first you have to try.

We are all actors,' said Connie. 'Our true feelings and desires hidden behind masks carved from the trammels of accepted social norms. Wouldn't you say so?

The way we see it, London is just one massive money-laundering scheme attached to an impressive public transport system and a few museums, of which even the most honest has more stolen goods than a lock-up garage in Worcester rented by a guy I know called Chalky.

Ninety-seven minutes ago," replied Copperfield. "Killed two male nurses and his doctor with his bare hands. The other three orderlies who accompanied him are critical in the hospital." "Critical?" "Yes. Don't like the food, beds uncomfortable, waiting lists too long—usual crap. Other than that they're fine.