Quotes from Ron White

I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you're a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.

I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.

I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!

Star Wars Episode Three (And One Quarter): Revenge Of The Hicks

The way my brain processes information is quite odd. I mean, I have Attention Deficit Disorder and another learning disability I can't even spell. I don't even have a high school diploma. I'm smart, but you can't prove it on paper.

I've gathered some of my close musical and comedian friends, and we're going to see if we can't bring a few laughs to these soldiers, raise some money, and hopefully lift their spirits. I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.

All I know how to do is take what's on my mind and spit it out funny. I don't know what else I could do besides comedy.

I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He's probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can't say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor.

I don't like to do material people have heard. Now, they like to hear material that they know, because that's the stuff that made me famous, and, unfortunately, I don't do a ton of it.

There's no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn't been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you'll look cool, I don't get that. But I don't watch standup anyway, so I don't know what they're doing.

I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.

That's the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media's radar.

I was by far the least popular of the Blue Collar crew when we started. There was a definite pecking order, and everybody knew it.

The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.

There's no backlog of people we can fire for no reason and act as if they don't exist.

I'm not the judge of who that is, but I am a believer that no debt in the universe goes unpaid. If you try to buy early, you'll pay late.

The bulk of my fans are my age, and I'm aging at the same rate they are. That makes me relevant. They like hearing what I have to say. I work hard at it, but it's addicting, really.

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.

I write these shows one joke at a time. There's no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there's not continuity.

My show is more storytelling now than it's ever been. It's what I'm good at.

I was desperate for new material, so anything I can write a joke about that works is in the act. No matter who it offends, or who it bothers - doesn't matter if its something my wife hates.

I've been offered starring roles in horrible movies, but I just didn't want to do it. I don't see why you would.

I don't like to do burnt material on stage. Even though my crowd loves to hear me do old stuff, I don't like to do old stuff. So I do very, very little of it.

Comedy is great because there's no overhead.