Quotes from Dane Cook

When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.

I grew up very self-loathing. I was a phobic. I had anxiety. I had panic attacks.

You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.

I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.

I had the humble beginnings. I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.

I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.

As a comedian, I am obligated to tell you the truth, my truth. To share with you my beliefs, my perspective. And I think that we forget sometimes that that's the oath that comics take, that we will go up and share everything - the irreverent, the scary.

I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.

My nickname for my mom was 'The Compass.'

Start each day out the holy way..with Christ Chex, it's a miracle in a bowl. Just open the box and you hear AHHHHH....and then a lil' angel flies out and says 'good morning, life is beautiful!'.

I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...

When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.

I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.

It's the worst feeling when you come home alone late at night and think the stranger sitting on your couch is a pile of clothes.

You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.

I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.

Anger has a way of seeping into every other emotion and planting itself in there.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance, so if the right script comes along, and I certainly am reading comedies and dramas now, then I'm ready willing and able to give it a shot.

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.

I'm completely ecstatic when a woman has own back story and brings something to the table and has a real strong kind of independence.

I do think I am funny, or I wouldn't be where I am today. I do think there is always room for improvement and learning.

My mother had a lot of phobias. She's pregnant with me and she was a very phobic person. So I was born into phobia, basically.