Quotes from Janet Evanovich

We don't appreciate the value of humor sometimes.

I wasn't always a writer. When I went to college and majored in fine arts, I was a painter. Then I was a stay-at-home mom.

I think that some books are more successful than others to certain readers. People who read my books for the humor, they're going to love one book. People who read my books for the mystery, they might not like that book quite as much.

You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out.

Since I can barely write two books a year the best solution seems to be co-author projects. My goal isn't to get another writer to clone me... it's more to produce a book that shares my vision of positive, fun entertainment.

Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head." Eddie DeChooch

Romance novels are birthday cake and life is often peanut butter and jelly. I think everyone should have lots of delicious romance novels lying around for those times when the peanut butter of life gets stuck to the roof of your mouth.

My professional aspirations were simple - I wanted to be an intergalactic princess.

I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times.

Nice dress. Take it off.

Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.

I hate mornings. They start so early.

I like the way you've let your hair go curly," he finally said. "Suits your personality. Lots of energy, not much control, sexy as hell," Joe Morelli to Stephanie Plum

I'm telling you, it's fu**ing hard to be classy

Either get out of bed or else take your clothes off," he said. "I'm not in the mood to compromise.

Calories don't count if they're connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

In my opinion, the only good spider is a dead spider, and women's rights aren't worth dick if they mean I can't ask a man to do my bug squashing.

I attributed the incidence to temporary insanity, and in my own defense, I'd like to say I haven't run over anyone since.

Here's a basic difference between Morelli and me. My first thought was always of cake. His first thought was always of sex. Don't get me wrong. I like sex . . . a lot. But it's never going to replace cake.

I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.

I'd bitch slap the devil for you.

I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating with Batman.

How many times have I told you not to hit people in the face. You kick them in the body where it doesn't show.

Thinking very often resembles napping, but the intent is different. --Stephanie Plum