Quotes from Janet Evanovich

Are you afraid of me? Uh... yes.' The smile stayed fixed in place. 'You should be. You locked me in a refrigerator truck with three dead people. Sooner or later I'm going to get you for it.

He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told me that time spent with him would ruin me for all other men. When he said it, I thought it was an outrageous threat. I no longer though it outrageous.

I looked over at him. Is that a proposal? There was total silence for a couple beats. I'm not sure. It just popped out. Let me know when you're sure. Would you say yes? Morelli asked. I'm not sure.

You think I'm gonna feel better eatin' a carrot? Get a grip. There's two idiots out there trying to kill me, and you think I'm gonna waste my last breath on a vegetable? (Lula)

Ranger was grinning. Somebody beat the shit out of this guy before he got shot. That would be me.I said. Babe,Ranger said, the grin widening.

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.

I always wanted to eat with a Negro," Grandma said. Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney-assed old white woman," Lula said. "So I guess this works out good.

Ranger sent us to check on you, Hal said. We just got here, and we heard shots. Some moron ate my jelly doughnut, Lula said. So I shot him.

Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. this is it, he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep.this car has protective qualities You mean like a guardian angel? I mean, like, it has seatbelts

I checked my phone messages. Three in all. The first was from Joe. "Hey, Cupcake." That was it. That was the whole message. The second was from Ranger. "Yo." Ranger made Joe look like a chatterbox.

Give me the gun. Ranger said. I extracted the gun from my pants and handed it over. Ranger held the gun in the pulm of his hand and smiled. It's warm, he said. He put the gun in the glove compartment and plugged the key into the ignition. Am I fired? No. Any women who can heat up a gun like that is worth keeping around.

Babe,' Ranger said. 'Do something with her.' And he disconnected. I called Ranger back. 'No,' I said. 'And I need information on Jelly Kantner. His apartment got blown up, and I need to find him.' And I should do this why?' Because you like me.' There was a full beat of silence. 'I do,' Ranger said. 'I like you a lot. Sometimes I'm not sure why. Give me a couple minutes.

Ranger] How's your mental health? he asked. I heard about Soder. [Stephanie] I'm rattled. I have a cure. Oh, boy. He put the truck in gear and headed for the exit. I know what you're thinking, he said. And that wasn't where I was going. I was going to suggest work. I knew that. He looked over at me and grinned. You want me bad. I did. God help me.

My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn. She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn't enough action. -Ranger and Stephanie

I failed math twice, never fully grasping probability theory. I mean, first off, who cares if you pick a black ball or a white ball out of the bag? And second, if you're bent over about the color, don't leave it to chance. Look in the damn bag and pick the color you want.

I need mood music. I gotta get myself ready to kick butt. Lula - High Five

Fine. Let Ranger get someone else. Trust me, you don't want to be out looking for a parking place on Sloane in the middle of the night. I won't have to look for a parking place. Tank's picking me up. Your working with a guy name Tank? He's big. Jesus, Morelli said. I had to fall in love with a woman who works with a guy named Tank. You love me? Of course I love you. I just don't want to marry you.

That's nice of you, but it's not necessary to loan me a car." "I loan you cars all the time." "And I almost always destroy them or lose them. I have terrible luck with cars." "Working at Rangeman is a high-stress job, and you're one of our few sources of comic relief. I give you a car and my men start a pool on how long it will take you to trash it. You're a line item in my budget under entertainment.

Everyone wants a Christmas tree. If you had a Christmas tree Santa would bring you stuff! Like hair curlers and slut shoes.

Nothing Personal? You've harrassed my mother, stolen my car, and now you're telling people I've gotten you pregnant! In my opinion, getting someone pregnant is pretty fucking personal! Jesus, isn't it enough I'm accused of murder? What are you the bounty hunter from hell?

One Ranger is all you'll ever need. - Ranger

Why do you give me cars? It's fun, Ranger said.And it keeps you safe. Do you want to know why keeping you safe is important to me? You love me? Yes. A sigh inadvertently escaped. We're really screwed up, aren't we? In a very large way, Ranger said.

You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms. Joe Morelli

Oh, for God's sake, I said. Just give me the stupid thing. I took the panic button and stuck it into my Super Sexy Miracle Bra. GPS, Ranger said to Morelli. Probably I can find her breast without it, Morelli said. But it's good to know there's a navigational system on board if I need it.