Quotes from Janet Evanovich

There was a lot of swearing and ineffective bitch-slapping

All us good citizens in Jersey got attitude. We got pride. We got brass balls the size of watermelons. We got rude hand gestures and loaded guns... most of us. It's not like we're a pushover state like California. If you want to make points and get extra virgins when you blow yourself up, clearly Jersey is the place to accomplish that, you see what I'm saying? It's not like we're easy.

Why would Munch want barium?

padded leather back. "Mo

Did the little girl witness a murder?" "No. She stole a medal that was worth a suitcase full of money." Ranger raised his eyebrows and grinned. "Good for her. I like to see enterprise in kids.

The Chihuahua pack was snoozing at his feet. All heads came up when I approached. "I brought food for the minions," I said to Forest. "Do you hear that, my teensy minions? The nice lady brought us food.

exactly the garden spot of the Garden State. In truth

I ate the 100 Grand bar first, and then the Kit Kat

I'm seventy-six years old. You think they're gonna send some seventy-six-year-old guy to prison because he flashed his stuff around?" I sincerely hoped so.

ou know there was a time when I'd say to myself… How does she do it? How does she get mixed up with these weirdos? But now I don't even question it. In fact, I've come to expect such things of you.

believe just about anything.

We're taking Forest to the police station, and then I'm taking the minions home with me. I'll stash them in my apartment until someone springs Forest. They haven't put the carpet down yet, and Briggs is there to babysit.

It is written by the Sage that you, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

Do you believe in God?" I asked Lula. "Fuckin' A I believe in God. Don't you believe in God?" "I believe in something. It's vague.

my mother made it clear that her love wasn't dependent on perfection.

I was pressed for time, so all I was able to whip up was deviled eggs with a dollop of Tsar Nicoulai caviar on top, a selection of fruit and artisanal cheeses, and sautéed Dover sole with lemon and capers." Kate's idea of preparing a quick meal was eating Cap'n Crunch out of the box, so this was Christmas dinner by comparison.

You know there was a time when I'd say to myself… How does she do it? How does she get mixed up with these weirdos? But now I don't even question it. In fact, I've come to expect such things of you.

looked at my watch. Damn. Too early to quit work and start drinking.

Shirley's gonna be pissed," Gazarra said. "She hates when I get shot." To my recollection, the only other time Gazarra was shot was when he was playing quick draw in the police station elevator, and his gun accidentally discharged. The bullet ricocheted off the elevator wall and lodged in Gazarra's right buttock.

don't carry one of your trackers?" "I'll call you on your cellphone.

A while back he dated Lula, but Lula was allergic to his cats, and Tank wasn't giving up his cats for love or money or Lula.

I don't have a car. How am I going to get around?" "Taxi. Skateboard. Drone pickup. Figure it out!

You're out of beer." "I had to choose between food and the shoes." "You made the right choice.

A few years back, a con to trick