Quotes from Janet Evanovich

I was getting nowhere fast on all this stuff, but as Yoda says, "Do or do not. There is no try." So, I was all about the do today.

Grandma moved in with my mom and dad when Grandpa went upstairs to live with Jesus.

It's like they had early aspirations that didn't turn out and eventually they settled into a comfortable undemanding existence.

No one," Jessup said. He glanced at Nick. "We want you to break into the Smithsonian." "Always a pleasure," Nick said. Kate raised an eyebrow at Nick. "You've done it before?" Nick shrugged. "Nobody goes to D.C. without visiting the Smithsonian." "Most people go when it's open." "I don't like crowds.

You sound like your mother." "Sometimes she's right." Truth is, she was almost always right. And my life would probably be improved if I listened to her more often.

I OPENED THE front door to Morelli's house and Bob

When are you going to start saying nothing?

Well that's disappointing," Grandma Mazur said. "I expected something better from her.

he'd graduated from Dartmouth, so he couldn't be stupid. Still, she suspected he'd get lost trying to find his way out of a parking lot.

Ranger was dressed in jeans and a black T-shirt and boots

I mean Earth. One minute you think you know where you're going, and then in a second it could all change. You don't even have to make a bad decision. You could be doing everything right, and the bad thing happens. It's like we're one of them videogames. Someone pushes a button, and BANG you're dead. It's gotta make you wonder what's next.

Just make sure you're not withholding information, Sandeman. Your parole officer might find it annoying." He gave me a shot to the shoulder that knocked me back a foot. "Somebody yanks my parole officer's chain, and somebody might find out why they call me the Sandman. Maybe you want to think about that." Not anytime soon.

Whose birthday?" I asked. "No one's," Connie said. "We're celebrating that you're not dead.

here," Briggs said.

Princeton isn't actually part of New Jersey. It's a small island of wealth and intellectual eccentricity floating in the Sea of Central Megalopolis.

he hasn't cut his hair in at least ten years. For all I know that was also the last time he washed it.

Lula backed out after you. I don't like to speak bad about anyone, but it wasn't a pretty sight. It was like Winnie the Pooh getting stuck in the rabbit hole, if Winnie the Pooh was wearing a red thong.

I wasn't much good with a gun, but I was bitchin' with an aerosol can.

What if there was no house keeper? What if it had been a ploy to get a woman alone?

I always wanted to eat with a Negro, Grandma said. Yeah, well, I always wanted to eat with a boney-assed old white woman, Lula said. So I guess this works out good. Grandma and Lula did some complicated handshake thing. Bitchin', Grandma said.

The one who deserves your scorn is the bus driver who abandoned his vehicle in Camarillo to get high on pot.

I want nothing. There is no pizza. There is no you, no me, no us, no pizza. And don't ever call me again, you scummy, slimy fungus-ridden dog turd, piece of fly crud.

Everyone in the room was silent for a moment. Annie stared openmouthed at the man beneath her. So he'd noticed her after all. Her ego moved up a notch. Not that he was her type, mind you. Not that she had a type. But Wes looked, well, he looked a little dangerous, a little rough around the edges. Besides, she'd sworn off men. Still . . . Wes made her feel sort of feminine, like she should go upstairs and put on a pair of panty hose. Not a good sign.

My father never got the memo about red meat, colonoscopies, or heart disease. His philosophy was that if you never went to the doctor, you never found out there was something wrong with you. So far it was working for him.