Quotes from Janet Evanovich

My grandmother says your grandmother is stalking her.

was dressed in black jeans, black motorcycle boots, a black T-shirt, and a black leather motorcycle jacket.

Death isn't such a big deal when it's happening to someone else.

Something's going down," I said to Morelli. "All the players are here. Maybe we should call the police." "I'm the police.

He pooped twice, and I didn't pick it up. My feeling is if God wanted me to pick up dog poop he would have made it look like diamonds and smell like roses.

It was one of the biggest mansions in Washington, D.C., and it was appropriately called Mysterioso Manor. Emerson Knight, the resident owner, was appropriately known as a nutcase.

If she wasn't standing there, I'd grab you and shake you until the fillings fell out of your teeth. Police brutality. It has nothing to do with being a cop. It has to a do with being Italian.

Ten thousand dollars for finding one guy? What's the catch?" "Sometimes they don't want to be found, and they shoot at you.

Their tiny villages were razed, the hillsides were shaved off, and everything was dumped into the water between the two islands to create one completely flat piece of land for a new international airport.

I thought about doing something athletic, like going for a run, but when I looked out the living room window it was still January, so I trashed the physical fitness idea.

talking, drinking, and laughing again, like

Not that I'm aware," Sunshine said.

Who else's wife did you sleep with?" Lula asked. "Recently?" Lula turned to me. "And we're supposed to be keeping him from getting a rocket up his butt why?

Think you should stop your whining, she said to Kuntz, on account of it makes you look like a wiener. And with a name like Kuntz you gotta be careful what you look like.

My father is an equal opportunity bigot. He wouldn't deprive a man of his rights. And he's not a hate-filled man. He simply knows in his heart that Italians are superior, that stereotypes were created by God, and if a person is worth anything at all he drives a Buick.

Nice to see a pretty girl stopping by, even if it is just business. And look at you with all that curly red hair and big brown eyes. And you got a nose that's cute as a button. I bet you work out too.

You can trust a woman who likes s'mores," I said. "It's the gooey factor.

Gus gave me a list of ice cream orders. "You can read, right?" "Yep." "I always gotta ask these days.

You need a real gun," Lula said. "I don't need a real gun. I'm not shooting anyone." "Suppose they shoot at you first?" "I wave my arms in the air, scream like a girl, and run away as fast as I can.

in front of my condo when I pulled in. He was in a

She knew that the Germans were unhappy, but like everyone else, she thought Germans were always unhappy.

I don't think there's a degree in protesting." "There's a lot to learn," Lula said. "You gotta know about making signs and holding them up in the right fashion. And there's ways to be obnoxious and provoke a fight. Then you gotta shout slogans and such.

Her oldest brother, Lowell, usually sent her a conspiracy-laden tirade about the government being in cahoots with Big Oil, the Russians, and the Taliban, in no particular order.

Maybe the day hadn't gone exactly right, but the day had been lived and the house had been there for it's family.--Two for the Dough--