Quotes from Janet Evanovich

Okay, I know he was captain of the football team and he could bake a cake—that didn't mean I was ready to suck his finger. I was picky about what I put in my mouth. "I'll wait," I told him. "Wouldn't want to spoil my appetite.

I checked out the wine. Screw cap. The greatest invention since fire.

This is part of the problem with the world today," Diesel said. "People don't believe in the mystical.

Life is a journey, not a destination," Emerson said. "One must live in the moment.

I thought you were trying to lose weight." "Yeah, but I don't want to waste away to nothing. And anyway, everyone knows you don't gain weight on Sunday. Sunday's a free day.

Ranger transferred the messenger bag from his shoulder to mine, pulled me into him, and kissed me like he meant it.

Altogether, there are eight types of illusions. Magic, a dream, a bubble, a rainbow, lightning, the moon reflected in water, a mirage, and a city of celestial musicians." Vernon

I carted the basket into my bedroom, set it on the floor, and my cell phone rang. 'Bitch,' Joyce Barnhardt said when I answered. 'Do you have a problem?' 'You poisoned me.' 'I don't know what you're talking about.' 'Don't play dumb. You knew exactly what you were doing when you forced that pork on me.' 'Gee, I'd really like to talk to you, Joyce, but I have to go do something.' 'I'll get you for this. As soon as I can leave the bathroom.

When I was pink and clean I crawled into bed and pretended I was at Disney World.

So it was okay with Tank that you bought the ring?" "Tank got a real important job," Lula said. "He don't necessarily have time to go shopping for shit like this." "Does he know he's engaged?" "Of course he knows," Lula said.

You should snap me up," Morelli said. "Not many men would marry you after meeting your grandmother. You're lucky to have me.

I wanted to marry Aladdin so I'd get to fly on his magic carpet. So you can see that we were coming from different places.

Finally, a sport I could enjoy.

Of course when you have a Bob dog everything is dog food.

I'm a book junkie. When I retire from wrestling I'm going to open a mystery bookstore." "Can you make a living selling mysteries?" "No. Nobody makes a living selling mysteries. The stores are all fronts for numbers operations.

A flock of cardinals in scarlet frocks with tall white miters on their heads came trailing behind him.

You bet your ass. I take pride in my appearance." She looked down and made a boob adjustment, hoisting the girls up a couple inches. "You never know when Mr. Good Enough is gonna come along. I like to be ready.

Play the role," Lula said. "That's what we do. We pick a role and we play it. What role you want to play?" "I want to be smart, and I want to be brave." "Go for it," Lula said.

Riley reminded herself that she was a professional, and stabbing Emerson with her nail file wouldn't be appropriate.

That sounds like something sick," Lula said. "What kind of a person would participate in a cornhole competition? I personally wouldn't be involved in anything to do with cornholes.

You'd really go all the way to Greece, and run a covert operation again, just so I can have the satisfaction of capturing Nick Fox?" "Sure," he said. "We don't get nearly enough quality father-daughter time.

Will you look at this, Grandma said. Closed casket. Isn't this a fine howdy-do. I get dressed up and come out to pay my respects, and I don't even get to see anything. Martha Deeter was shot and autopsied. They'd taken her brain out to get weighed. After she was put back together she probably looked like Frankenstein. I was personally relieved to see a closed casket.

He'd abandoned his usual outfit of black rap clothes or GI Joe cammies. He was wearing a brown leather jacket, a cream-colored Henley, faded jeans, and work boots. His hair, which had always been slicked back in a ponytail, was cut short. He had a two-day beard, making his teeth seem whiter and his Latino complexion seem darker.

Everyone's childhood is strange. It prepares you for the strangeness of adulthood." Riley