Quotes from Janet Evanovich

Ranger leaned closer and lowered his voice.

You know nothing. You're nothing but a skank-ass, pencil-dick hemorrhoid. And you smell like anal leakage." "Say what?

a quotation from Seneca, the Roman philosopher. Sometimes, even to live is an act of courage.

Which was one reason why Revolt of the Zombie Strippers was being shot in Gallup and not in a warehouse in Van Nuys.

Hey, look who's here!" Briggs said. "It's Aunt Stephanie." He was dressed in the tan suit, and it looked like he'd gotten a haircut. "What's with the suit?" I asked him. "I have a job interview, so Nick let me keep it a while longer. What happened with the Russian guy?" "The problem is solved." "I bet.

Did you pack an extra gun?" "Of course," she said. "You can never have too many weapons." Jake smiled. "I raised you right.

Your grandmother needs a ride to the viewing, and I'm holding you responsible if she shoots someone, gets arrested, or tries to take a selfie with the deceased.

looked around for Grandma, spotting her and Dougie hiding behind a car on the opposite side of the street. They were wearing Super Suits and they had bath towels pinned around their necks like capes.

The problem with all that falling in love was that eventually it had to come to an end, and the end would be painful.

I was pretty sure this time "Babe" meant I was giving him a cramp in his sphincter.

There's another part to success," Ranger said. "You have to be brave.

Bucky's garage was a two-bay cinder block structure that sat like an island in a sea of cars. New cars, old cars, smashed cars, rusted cars, cars that had signed on for the vital organ program

Uh oh," Lula said. "Here comes Officer Hottie, and he don't look happy." Morelli moved behind me and curled his fingers into the back of my jacket collar. "I need to talk to you . . . outside." "I wouldn't go if I was you," Lula said to me. "He's wearing his mad cop face. At least you should make him leave his gun here." Morelli shot Lula a look, and she buried her head in the chicken bucket.

If this was the shortcut, she didn't want to see the longcut.

If you had told somebody in the year 1800 that there were invisible things called germs and that they were responsible for the common cold, he would have thought that you were crazy and believed in magic," Emerson said. "Today, everybody simply accepts it as fact, despite that they've never seen or knowingly touched a germ.

You're not suggesting we do it in this tiny closet with two men watching television in the next room, are you?" "It'd be limiting," Ranger said, "but at least you wouldn't have your ass on the horn.

A gift card says I feel obligated to get you something, but I don't care enough to put any effort into finding just the right gift.

I was in no rush to get back to the funeral parlor, so I called Ranger again. "Hi," I said to his answering service. "It's me. Things are looking up. Your wife is tailing me, but she hasn't shot at me yet today, so that's a good thing, right? And you need to answer your damn phone calls.

Ranger took his SEALs hat off and put it on me, tucking my hair behind my ears, letting his hands linger a moment too long. "You have to believe in what you're doing." That could be a problem. And Ranger could be a problem. I was feeling much too attracted to him.

Pretty," he said. "The wine?" "You." I was wearing a white T-shirt and striped pajama bottoms with a drawstring waist. My feet were bare and my hair was down and disorderly. "This would be perfect if we were in my apartment and not yours, and you were spending the night," he said.

He's a serious babe," Connie said. "Saw him six months ago, before all this happened. He was ordering a quarter pound of provolone at the meat market, and I had all I could do to keep from sinking my teeth into his butt.

If she wasn't standing there, I'd grab you and shake you until the fillings fell out of your teeth. Police brutality. It has nothing to do with being a cop. It has to do with being Italian.

Burg Catholicism was a convenient religion. When the mind boggled, there was always God, waiting in the wings to take the rap. Connie handed me the check and plucked at a clump of mascara hanging at the end of her left eyelash. "I'm telling you, it's fucking hard to be classy," she said.

A wise man, recognizing that the world is an illusion, does not act as if it is real, and so he escapes suffering." The