Quotes from Janet Evanovich

I guess that's where I heard of her. There's lots of people in that seniors' club, and I don't go to the meetings all the time. I can only take so much of old people. If I want to see loose skin I can look in the mirror.

I could use some lunch." "Do you have any money?" "No," Lula said. "Do you?" "No." "There's only one thing to do then. Senior buffet." Ten minutes later, I pulled into the Costco parking lot.

A hollowed-out volcano is every super-villain's dream lair. It's all about location, location, location." Riley

Nothing personal? You've harassed my mother, stolen my car, and now you're telling people I've gotten you pregnant! In my opinion, getting someone pregnant is pretty fucking personal! Jesus, isn't it enough I'm accused of murder? What are you, the bounty hunter from hell?

About this psychopath," Morelli said. "I went to New York with Ranger following a lead on the polonium thing. I had a run-in with this crazy guy named Vlatko who planned the poisoning, and he sort of slashed me." "Where was Ranger when all this was happening?" "He was snooping around in the Russian consulate.

How'd you get her to leave? Told her I was gonna spend the next twelve hours ruining you for all other men, and so she might as well go home. I could feel the heat rush to my face. Ranger gave me the wolf smile. I lied about it being tonight, he said.

You're like the sky at midnight, when the moon is shining, and the wind is blowing.

I rolled my eyes so far into the back of my head I saw myself thinking.

changed expression. Wariness, maybe. I felt a body move so close it was skimming my own, and a warm hand protectively settled at the base of my neck. Without turning I knew it was Ranger.

She's a former professional erectile engineer

He could freeze his stupid dick off for all I cared.

He looked just like himself. Didn't look like he was living in dark alleys. He was clean, fresh shaven. Didn't look hungry. Had on clean clothes. Seemed to be alone. Was a little, um, upset. Said I was a pain in the ass. No! You? A pain in the ass? I can't imagine why anyone would think that.

How's it going with Morelli? You able to get a fix on him?" "Not exactly a fix, but I know he's still in town." "He's a serious babe," Connie said. "Saw him six months ago, before all this happened. He was ordering a quarter pound of provolone at the meat market, and I had all I could do to keep from sinking my teeth into his butt.

RANGER HAD BEEN Special Forces, and he still had the build and the carriage. He was standing close, forcing me to tip my head back ever so slightly to look into his eyes.

Morelli looked dazed. What good is a gun without bullets? It's good for scaring people. Or you can hit people with it. Or you can use it to break windows … or crack walnuts.

They got stuff here that I didn't even know existed. Everything's spandex and sequins. It's a retired ho's dream come true.

Count me in." Jake put his things back in the rucksack, slung it over his shoulder, and stood up. "The kids can finish up this project." "You've taught them how to make land mines?" "I wouldn't be much of a grandfather if I didn't.

Suppose I was able to get to court, and the zombies followed me there, and they ate all the people's brains who were in the court?' 'This is Trenton,' Lula said. 'You might not notice.

You would let nine million dollars sit under this concrete?' 'Yeah.' He toed the concrete. 'I like my floor. The guys did a good job on it. It's nice and smooth.' 'If we got married and you died, I'd have this floor up before your body got cold.' 'As long as you don't slit my throat while I'm sleeping.' He looked down at me. 'You wouldn't, would you?' 'Not for money.

Ranger isn't my boyfriend. Ranger and I have a professional relationship." "Yeah, but that doesn't mean you can't play hide the salami once in a while.

Grandma pulled a .44 magnum out of her purse. Everybody duck, and I'll shoot out his tires.

My philosophy is aim high and fail big.

He exposed himself,' I said. 'Men aren't supposed to go around exposing themselves at unsuspecting women.' 'Well, technically none of us was unsuspecting,' Grandma said. 'We wait for him to show up. I guess it's one of them generation things. You get to an age and you look forward to seeing a winkie at four in the afternoon when you're peeling potatoes for supper.

I don't mean to be critical of the Trenton police, I said, but wouldn't you think someone could catch this goddamn rabbit? He's riding around, handing out photos.