Quotes from Janet Evanovich

Zook peeked into the living room. "This house has high speed Internet, right?" "Sure, we got cable," Grandma said. "We're not in the Stone Age here. I blog and everything.

Mr. Morganthal shuffled out of the elevator and winked at me. "Hey, hootchie-mamma," he said. "Want a hot date?" He was ninety-two and lived on the third floor, next to Mrs. Delgado. "You're too late," I told him. "I've already made plans." "That's just as well. You'd probably kill me," Mr. Morganthal said.

Have you ever thought about seeing a healthcare professional? I could find someone who would help you better understand the power of the amulet.' 'Healthcare is just another way of allowing employers and the government to control you. What's the first thing they do when you step into a doctor's office? They take your clothes. It's a power grab. A naked man has no power.' Clearly he doesn't know Ranger.

I am just a simple monk. The sun shines on the just and unjust alike. If the sun does not judge, then who am I to do so?

I set the box of biscuits on the counter and went to the bathroom, and when I returned the biscuits were gone. Only a slobbery, mangled corner of the box remained.

I hate this," Morelli said. "Why can't I have a girlfriend who has normal problems . . . like breaking a fingernail or missing a period or falling in love with a lesbian?

How's it going?" Morelli wanted to know. "It's average. Stole a truck. Blew up a house. Brought seven monkeys home with me. And now I have a naked man in my shower." "Yeah, same ol', same ol'," Morelli said.

We've got to get into shape," I said to Lula. "We should go to a gym or something." "I'd sooner set myself on fire.

haunches, looking dejected. "Where's the other monkey?" I asked him. Carl looked up. The monkey was in a tree. "What's he doing there?" Carl shrugged. "This was a stupid idea," I said to Diesel. "Yeah, but at least you walked off your sausage-and-egg sandwich. It would have gone straight to your ass." "I'm going back to Gail's house, and then

in a parade, and I'd already seen Ranger naked but he was worth

Truth is, I think naked men are kind of strange looking what with their doodles and ding-dong hanging loose like they do. Nevertheless, there's the curiosity thing. I guess it's another one of those car crash experiences, where you feel compelled to look even if you know you'll be horrified.

My instructions were to disable the car, but one of my men bet Hal a burger he couldn't get the engine out. So Hal removed the engine.

Dang," Grandma said, "guess I left the wrong hole empty." She leaned forward to examine her handiwork. "Not bad for my first time with a gun. I shot that sucker right in the gumpy.

We didn't do this sort of emotional display. We did temper and sarcasm. Anything beyond temper and sarcasm was virgin territory.

Children. Suppose we have children and it turns out we don't like them?" "If we can like Bob, we can like anything," Morelli said. Bob was in the living room licking lint off the carpet.

What was the deal with me today? It was as if my mouth wasn't connected to my brain.

Two windows," she said with a smile. "And there's no such word as besweatered." "It's like bespectacled, only with a sweater.

Unzipping that body bag didn't bother me," Ranger said, "but I'm going to have nightmares over this casino.

I don't get writer's block because I don't believe in it. I believe you sit in front of the computer and force your fingers to get something on the screen.

Lots of times I'm not crazy about the writing, but I keep moving ahead and somehow it gets better. The important thing is to move forward.

Ranger smiled. "There are times when I seriously consider marrying you, but then I get yet another black mark on my path to enlightenment and forgiveness and I scratch marriage off my bucket list.

The doorbell rang and Grandma ran to get it. "It's him," she said to me. "It's my honey." My father got out of his chair in the living room and took his seat at the table. "I don't care if he craps in a bag," he said to Ranger. "I'll give you a hundred bucks if you can scare him into marrying her and moving her into his room at the old people's home.

Because that is who you are. Sometimes when a plan is right

Pbbtlt. It smells like ham, Glo said. It must be Hatchet Hatchet moved out of the shadows. My intent was to capture and torture for information, but you have made my job easy. I now know the clue and can give this information to my master. He's not going to believe you, Glo said. You fart. Hatchet stood tall with one hand on his sword. Everyone doth fart. Not like you, Glo said. You're a ham farter. Hatchet pressed his lips together. Tis a manly fart.