Quotes from Janet Evanovich

Congratulations. You caught yourself a Munchkin.

Are you sure you don't know where Jimmy is hiding?' 'Maybe I'll remember if you show me your tits.' 'That's disgusting. This is a viewing. There's a dead woman in there.' 'How about if I asked to see them in a bar?' 'No.' 'Suppose I bought you dinner?' 'No.' 'What if I was in the hospital with a heart attack?' 'No.' 'Boy, you're tough. Most women would go for the heart attack.

I understand why you do your job," my mother said to me. "There's a sense of accomplishment when you take down someone bad. It's like being a police officer or being in the Army or being a mother. You have a responsibility to protect and keep order, and you do whatever it takes to get that done.

The obvious reason, of course, was that I was jealous. I didn't like the obvious reason, so I kept working for another. Finally I gave up in defeat.

That's how hospitals get you. You go in to visit and before you know it they got a camera stuck up your butt and they're lookin' to find poloponies.

You could always count on melted cheese to have a calming effect.

Okay, so I fibbed a little about the kids. I didn't want her to feel bad. I mean we can't all be lucky enough to have a hamster.

she was always propelled forward by the drip, drip, drip of adrenaline that accompanied the adventure of the chase and by the determination that she would capture the prize.

Do I look like I'm dressed for a snake jamboree? I don't think so.

my leg over the bike. Ranger was watching me, smiling. "I like the way you straddle that," he said. "Someday . . .

Like I said before, kids were okay from a distance, but I didn't think they'd ever replace hamsters.

You'd lie to the pope." I caught myself halfway through the sign of the cross. "I almost never lie." Only when it's absolutely necessary. And on those occasions when the truth doesn't seem appropriate.

To reach the cathedral's entrance, Kate had to go down a narrow cobblestone street, a bottleneck of restaurants, coffeehouses, and Leonidas chocolate shops, all crammed tightly together and stuck to the side of the church like barnacles.

She's lived with my parents since Grandpa Mazur took the big escalator to the heavenly food court in the sky.

Where's my candy bar?" Lula asked. "I don't have

Deedee is really very sweet," he whispered.

This is great," Lula said, handing me a coffee and opening the box. "Just you and me and a box of donuts. This is the way people bond over good memories and shit.

You don't look like a cop," I told him. "All the other guys wear suits." "I've been asked by the chief not to wear a suit. I look like a casino pit boss when I wear a suit. I don't inspire trust.

I heaved a large sigh of resignation and pushed off on my three-mile route, mapped out with great care to avoid hills and bakeries.

I wasn't afraid of the dark, but I wasn't in love with it either. Well, okay, I was afraid of the dark.

So rather than try to hide it, I've built it into your cover." "Which is what?" "You're my bodyguard and lover." She shook her head. "Just your bodyguard." "He'll never believe I'm not sleeping with you." "You aren't." "Even I find that unbelievable," Nick said.

So, is it against the law to shoot someone after he's already dead?" "Yes, it's against the law." I made a small grimace. "I thought it would be.

You never know when Mr. Good Enough is gonna come along. I like to be ready.

In my mind, that's the difference between being a loser and a winner. A winner is willing to look like a idiot for as long as it takes to get the job done.