Quotes from Janet Evanovich

His participation was in the ballpark of a pity fuck.

Here's the thing," Riley said. "I'm not really into diabolical possibilities. I'm more into logical explanations.

The downside is my picture's been all over the media and now my movement is limited. So I could use some help." "Why don't you just go blond?" "I've been blond. When I go blond I look like I should be singing with the Village People.

Damn, piss, shit, fuck!

Probably Ranger wouldn't even mind that I was here. After all, he's slept in my bed and used my shower. Of course, I was in them at the time.

Oscar Wilde said it's never the question that's indiscreet, only the answers.

stupefied boredom.

He lowered his mouth and kissed me. I know I should have kneed him in the groin, but the kiss was delicious. Joe Morelli still knew how to kiss.

Whatever the other team does best, that's what you have to do better.

Trust him," I said. Trust Superman, Spider-man, E.T., the Ghost of Christmas Present . . . whoever the hell.

Grandma ladled out oatmeal for the three of us. She and I took our bowls into the dining area, and Bob ate his in the kitchen. When Grandma and I went back to the kitchen, Bob's bowl was empty. The cardboard box that used to hold the cake was also empty. "Guess Bob's got a sweet tooth," Grandma said. I shook my finger at him. "That was rude. And besides, you'll get fat." Bob wagged his tail.

This was the second time in less than forty-eight hours that a man stopped fondling me because his phone rang. And both times it was because someone had been killed. If I wasn't a well-adjusted, emotionally healthy person I might be bothered by this.

My eyes never got lower than your nipples. If it wasn't for the fact that Morelli would shoot me I would have taken you on his front lawn.

Okay, so this had all the makings of a cluster fuck, but there was a Dairy Queen Oreo Cheese-Quake Blizzard waiting for me somewhere.

Her concept of paradise was something more immediate: a book and a blanket beneath a tree, where she might read in peace.

Notice he called us losers and not quitters. That's on account of we never quit. In my mind, that's the difference between being a loser and a winner. A winner is willing to look like a idiot for as long as it takes to get the job done.

My mother was in the kitchen ironing. Physically she's a younger version of my Grandma Mazur, and physically I'm a younger version of my mother. Mentally and emotionally my mother is on her own. Lunacy seems to have skipped a generation and my mother is left to bear the burden of maintaining standards of decorum for the family. My grandmother and I are the loose cannons.

Superheroes are make-believe. Oh yeah? Lula said. What about God? Hmmmm.

I don't know what this country's coming to when an old lady can't keep a gun in her purse.

An orgasm is an orgasm, but getting there can leave you with a herniated disc if you aren't careful.

She'd wanted to grow up to be a superhero, and in a left-turn kind of way she felt like she was on track.

Ten minutes passed before his (Ranger's) Mercedes appeared at the end of the street, gliding through the rain, sleek and sinister, water not daring to adhere to the paint finish.

Probably went to get a pretzel

What I lack in expertise I make up for with desperation and tenacity, because I only get paid when I catch someone.