Quotes from Bill Watterson

I have all these great genes, but they're recessive. That's the problem here.

HOBBES: If you don't get a goodnight kiss you get Kafka dreams.

Isn't it sad how some people's grip on their lives is so precarious that they'll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?

People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.

I'm a 21st-century kid trapped in a 19th-century family.

Reading goes faster if you don't sweat comprehension.

We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.

Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray. You realize nothing is as clear as it first appears. Ultimately, knowledge is paralyzing. Being a man of action, I cannot afford to take that risk. Hobbes: You're ignorant, but at least you act on it.

HOBBES: Virtue needs some cheaper thrills.

I liked things better when I didn't understand them.

You can present the material, but you can't make me care.

Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification. -Calvin

Calvin: Today for show and tell, I've brought a tiny miracle of nature: a single snowflake! I think we might all learn a lesson from how this utterly unique and exquisite crystal turns into an ordinary, boring molecule of water just like every other one when you bring it into the classroom. And now, while the analogy sinks in, I will be leaving you drips and going outside...

I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people.

Leave it to a girl to take all the fun out of sex discrimination. -Calvin

As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You've taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. Congratulations.

At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you'll have to find your inner motivation to seek for new ideas on your own.

It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy... Let's go exploring!

Childhood is for spoiling adulthood.

Miss Wormwood: Calvin, your test was an absolute disgrace! It's obvious you haven't read any of the material. Our first president was not Chef Boy-Ar-Dee and you ought to be ashamed to have turned in such preposterous answers! Calvin: I just don't test well.

Specifically, I'd like to debate whether cannibalism ought to be grounds for leniency in murders, since it's less wasteful.

Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship.

Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made.