Quotes from Bill Watterson

It's always better to leave the party early.

Why does man create? Is it man's purpose on earth to express himself, to bring form to thought, and to discover meaning in experience? Or is it just something to do when he's bored?

I'm a man of few words." "If you read more, you might have a larger vocabulary.

I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.

Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE! Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you're over here like this? Calvin:...I don't think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.

Mom and Dad say I should make my life an example of the principles I believe in... But every time I do, they tell me to stop it.

Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I'm cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.

Calvin is hammering nails into coffee table. Mom: CALVIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THE COFFEE TABLE?!? Calvin: Is this some sort of trick question, or what?

Dad: Honey, have you seen my glasses? I can"t find them. Mom: I haven't seen them. Calvin: (with glasses, to Dad) Calvin, go do something you hate! Being miserable builds character!

Good friends are hard to come by... I need more money.

Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid!

If people looked at the stars each night, they'd live a lot differently. When you look into infinity, you realize that there are more important things than what people do all day.

Like delicate lace, so the threads intertwine, oh, gossamer web of wond'rous design! Such beauty and grace wild nature produces... Ughh, look at that spider suck out that bug's juices!

What assurance do I have that your parenting isn't screwing me up?

At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you'll have to find your inner motivation to seek for new ideas on your own.

They can't chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can't contain it! Laws can't restrain it! Authority has no power over it!

Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.

Is it truly being good if the only reason I behave well is so I can get more loot at Christmas? I mean, really, all I'm doing is saying I can be bribed.

So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it.

Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest!

Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?

I've got to start listening to those quiet, nagging doubts.

That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.