Quotes from Bill Watterson

My life needs a rewinderase button. - Calvin

Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles - Calvin

That's the whole problem with science. You've got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder.

Reality continues to ruin my life.

It's not denial. I'm just selective about the reality I accept.

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.

I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood. What mood is that? Last-minute panic.

I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.

You know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change, but pretty soon...everything's different.

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!

As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway.

We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.

I'm a misunderstood genius." "What's misunderstood?" "Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze 'em?

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.

CALVIN: Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it's weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it's funny. Don't you think it's odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us? HOBBES: I suppose if we couldn't laugh at the things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.