Quotes from Bill Watterson

CALVIN: When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.

In a comic strip, you can suggest motion and time, but it's very crude compared to what an animator can do. I have a real awe for good animation.

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.

If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

I know the world isn't fair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?

Weekends do not count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless

It's a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it's light out.

When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.

Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?

A box of new crayons! Now they're all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they'll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.

You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood. What mood is that? Last-minute panic.

You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.' 'That's why animals are so soft and huggy.

Dad, how do soldiers killing each other solve the world's problems?

How come we play war and not peace? Too few role models.

In my opinion, we don't devote nearly enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.

Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?

There is not enough time to do all the nothing we want to do.

What fun is it being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.

Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!

Letting your mind play is the best way to solve problems.