Quotes from Bill Watterson

When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.

I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep my expectations.

I go to school, but I never learn what I want to know.

CALVIN: This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery? If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it? And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this? HOBBES: I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday? CALVIN: Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.

Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of tea and a good book.

God put me on earth to accomplish certain things. Right now, I'm so far behind, I'll never die.

Calvin: I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog! Want to see my book report? Hobbes: (Reading Calvin's paper) "The Dynamics of Interbeing and Monological Imperatives in Dick and Jane: A Study in Psychic Transrelational Gender modes." Calvin: Academia, here I come!

The purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure pure reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog!

The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.

Calvin: Medically speaking:. That's love?!?..... Hobbes: Heck, that happened to me once, but I figured it was cooties!!

I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.

You know, sometimes the world seems like a pretty mean place.' 'That's why animals are so soft and huggy.

Ms. Wormwood: Calvin, can you tell us what Lewis and Clark did? Calvin: No, but I can recite the secret superhero origin of each member of Captain Napalm's Thermonuclear League of Liberty. Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.

I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each other's dreams, we can play together all night.

Did you ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real, and you're just a reflection of him?

You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.

Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.

How come we play war and not peace? Too few role models.

Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words.

Wow, it really snowed last night! Isn't it wonderful? Everything familiar has disappeared! The world looks brand new! A new year ... a fresh, clean start! It's like having a big white sheet of paper to draw on! A day full of possibilities! It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy ... let's go exploring!

I hate to think that all my current experiences will someday become stories with no point.