Quotes from Bill Watterson

We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.

Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.

You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!!

Calvin: Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.

The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.

God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

Calvin : There's no problem so awful, that you can't add some guilt to it and make it even worse.

Things are never quite as scary when you have a best friend.

So, what's it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don't recommend it.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.

Who was the first guy that look at a cow and said, "I think that I'll drink whatever comes out of those things when I squeeze them?"

There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.

Weekends don't count unless you spend them doing something completely pointless.

That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse.

If you can't win by reason, go for volume.

I wish I had more friends, but people are such jerks. If you can just get most people to leave you alone, you're doing good. If you can find even one person you really like, you're lucky. And if that person can also stand you, you're really lucky.

Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer.... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?

It's a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it's light out.

CALVIN: This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery? If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it? And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this? HOBBES: I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday? CALVIN: Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.

Careful. We don't want to learn from this.

Leave it to a girl to take the fun out of sex discrimination.