Quotes from Will Rogers

You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

Live so that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

All you need to grow fine, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk.

Women are not the weak, frail little flowers that they are advertised. There has never been anything invented yet, including war, that a man would enter into, that a woman wouldn't, too.

Too many people spend money they earned..to buy things they don't want..to impress people that they don't like.

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

More men have been elected between sundown and sunup than ever were elected between sunup and sundown.

Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.

The United States never lost a war or won a conference.

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.

I tell you folks, all politics is applesauce.

If America ever passes out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone: America died from a delusion she had Moral Leadership.

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do now.

If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.