Quotes from Will Rogers

A lot of guys have had a lot of fun joking about Henry Ford because he admitted one time that he didn't know history. He don't know it, but history will know him. He has made more history than his critics ever read.

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business?

In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time.

My forefathers didn't come over on the May-flower, but they met the boat.

If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable.

I represent what is left of a vanishing race, and that is the pedestrian.... That I am still able to be here, I owe to a keen eye and a nimble pair of legs. But I know they'll get me someday.

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep.

Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.

I was just thinking, if it is really religion with these nudist colonies, they sure must turn atheists in the wintertime.

If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him "father."

It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for.

We have plenty of Confidence in this country, but we are a little short of good men to place our Confidence in.

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.

Politics is applesauce.

A comedian can only last till he either takes himself serious or his audience takes him serious.

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing -- and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

America is a great country, but you can't live in it for nothing.

Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

Don't gamble take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.