Quotes from Will Rogers

You can't say civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.

People that pay for things never complain. It's the guy you give something to that you can't please.

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

We don't give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give 'em plenty of publicity.

Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week.

An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's.

There ought to be one day — just one — when there is open season on senators.

If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them.

Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.

The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.

Liberty don't work as good in practice as it does in speeches.

Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

Another way to solve the traffic problems of this country is to pass a law that only paid-for cars be allowed to use the highways.

Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with.

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got.

The best thing about this group of candidates is that only one of them can win.

I have always claimed Americans didn't want a drink as bad as they wanted the right to take a drink if they did happen to want one.

The trip across Arizona is just one oasis after another. You can just throw anything out and it will grow there, I like Arizona.

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?'

Does college pay? They do if you are a good open-field runner.

I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.