Quotes from Will Rogers

Elections are a good deal like marriages, there's no accounting for anyone's taste. Every time we see a bridegroom we wonder why she ever picked him, and it's the same with Public Officials.

Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.

Live your life so that whenever you lose, you are ahead.

Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, that don't hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous.

Noah must have taken into the Ark two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the most prolific animals.

Nothing you can't spell will ever work.

On account of us being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

One ad is worth more to a paper than forty editorials.

Parades should be classed as a nuisance and participants should be subject to a term in prison.

People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.

People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible.

Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.

See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails

The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know.

The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.

The greatest loss of time is delay and expectation. I never yet talked to the man who wanted to save time who could tell me what he was going to do with the time he saved.

The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.

The man with the best job in the country is the Vice President. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How's the President'

There is good news from Washington today. Congress is deadlocked and can't act.

There is only one thing that can kill the Movies, and that is education.

There ought to be one day - just one - where there is open season on senators.

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.

We are sure living in a peculiar time. You get more for not working than you will for working, and more for not raising a hog than for raising it.

We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.