Quotes from Bill Cosby

Non so quale sia la chiave del successo, ma la chiave del fallimento è il cercare di piacere a tutti.

Parents are people who yell and they yell and they yell and they yell. And you already have the point... and they're still yelling.

I love cake. I love pie. I love potato chips. I love salt. I do not want yogurt, plain yogurt. It's healthy. 'Why don't you like it?' Because it tastes like bad breath.

We've got too many young girls, who don't know how to parent, turning themselves into parents.

I use the exercise room early, because I don't want to get on the treadmill and everyone's going 'Oh, Bill Cosby,' and then they come around to see how fast I'm walking, and it becomes very competitive.

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.

We're not raising children with the love that we need to.

My feeling is, personally, I want to die first... because I believe that when you die, your soul goes immediately up for judgment - and I don't want my wife up there first. No, the judgment will be horrendous.

Karl Malden was a good friend of mine, and he said, 'You draw the people to you,' and I guess that's what I do.

There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.

Comedy Central is what these young people are viewing. The network speaks to their audience, which is saying, 'Give me fast jokes. Give me party stories and party language.'

As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by 'survival of the fittest.'

If you took your child to the dentist and check for cavities, the child likely won't get them. If you take them just for emergency, that's all they're gonna get.

There are some people who have trouble recognizing a mess.

The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.

The absolute truth is that there is no power in celebrity.

My mother was an authority on pig sties. This is the worst looking pigsty I have ever seen in my life, and I want it cleaned up right now.

I'm not the healthiest, but I am healthy. I'm healthy to the point where there are things that I have to eat that I don't want to eat, but I eat it because I'm enjoying staying alive.

But if that's what you want to be, that's what you will be - as long as you study.

If the audience knows you can be funny when you want to be, they will be willing to wait for that payoff.

My wife and I have five children and the reason why we have five children is because we do not want six.

I was 23 years old, a freshman at university, and there I was, on the first day, sitting in a remedial English class. I was so ashamed I almost got up and left, but somehow I knew inside that if I ran away from this, I would hate myself forever.

George Booth and I are both funny, and from afar, without meeting, admired each other's work.

I've noticed the customers in health food stores. They are pale, skinny people who usually look half dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific.