Quotes from Bill Cosby

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

When I decided that I wanted to go to college, I wanted to be a school teacher for 7th and 8th grade boys because I felt that was an important time for them. I had gone astray at that point in my life and really wanted to help keep them from making the same mistake I had made.

We are all anxious to be accepted. But if you have a strong mother and father who tell you that you don't have to dress a crazy way, or hang out with people who are looking for trouble in order to be loved and accepted, then half the battle is over.

I love Twitter, but some people use profanity so much that at some point it's like saying, 'Pass the salt.'

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.

The problems with kids having short attention spans is driven by entertainment, reset buttons on games, games having to do with getting somewhere and heads blowing up. Everything is 'cut to the chase, cut to the chase.'

In spite of what Thomas Jefferson wrote, all men may be created equal, but not to all women.

I'm a Christian. But Muslims are misunderstood. Intentionally misunderstood. We should all be more like them.

Learning to read clusters is not something your eyes do naturally. It takes constant practice.

If a white man falls off a chair drunk, it's just a drunk. If a Negro does, it's the whole damn Negro race.

We've got to get the gun out of the hands of people who are supposed to be on neighborhood watch.

There should be marches in every neighborhood every day telling the people about the negativity of drugs and how the drugs help us to behave negatively.

People have all kinds of approaches when they come up to me. Some of them are so nervous: 'You know, Mr. Cosby, you are my biggest fan!' I am? Some of them even claim that I raised them.

[W]hat will set your child apart from the others is its name. Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell, the name will carry.

But the truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.

I cannot understand how the education of this United States of America has been fooled time and time again. Either make it separate but equal or integrate, therefore it will be equal. And it has been separate and unequal.

I don't think you can bring the races together by joking about the differences between them. I'd rather talk about the similarities, about what's universal in their experiences.

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

I am not going to give in to people who try to exploit me because of my celebrity status.

Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.

I want all this loud profanity in the street stopped. I want people to think about choices.

When a person has a gun, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out.

Things are old. Parts are old. I'm talking about 'us' parts. AARP-parts. Some of us were born with stronger parts than others.

There's no tradition today except initials, 'CSI,' 'NCIS,' all the rest. Even with reruns today, people don't know there was a 'Dick Van Dyke Show,' or 'Andy Griffith,' or 'Cheers.'