Quotes from Mindy Kaling

I'm not proud of it, and it;s a little embarrassing to write, but sometimes you like the idea of someone so much, you just want to do whatever it takes to make it work.

you need the tiniest bit of bravery. People get scared when you try to do something, especially when it looks like you're succeeding. People do not get scared when you are failing. It calms them. That's why the show Intervention is a hit and everyone loves "worrying about" Amanda Bynes.

Every winter, the Latin Club celebrated Saturnalia ... We wore togas ... and wreaths made out of pipe cleaners, and we had a feast of whole roast chickens and carbonated grape juice, which we ate with our hands, like the Romans. We toasted each other by saying "Io Saturnalia!" and pretended to be drunk emperors in the teachers' multipurpose room. You know, just the typical stuff you do when you are really cool in high school.

We have to help our girls and teach them to be confident.' Well, guess what, young girls. You aren't damsels in distress. You aren't hostages to words of your peers. You aren't the victims that even your well-meaning teachers and advocates think you are.

Fueling my fight against my dad's wishes was my enormous dislike of bikes. Bikes were horrible. Bikes always seemed to be scratching against my legs, or the spoke was poking me or something. Pebbles ended up in my ankle socks when I was on a bike. The seat felt sharp and hurt my crotch. The bike represented everything annoying and uncomfortable in my young life.

I didn't want to be Regis or Kathie Lee, because their chairs were too high. I'm sorry, I'm supposed to sit like that for an hour? Too much blood rushing to my ankles. No, thanks.

But my secret is: even though I wish I could be thin, and that I could have the ease of the lifestyle that I associate with being thin, I don't wish for it with all of my heart. Because my heart is reserved for way more important things.

I might even know more divorced people than married people, because I live in godless Los Angeles, where if you're engaged it simply means you're publicly announcing that you are dating a person monogamishly. I

Interspecies Friendships. A smart, small observational show about two animals who are friends against all odds.

After six months of hardship and going to therapy three times a week, Sandy's now elated. She realized—as has almost everyone I know who has been left or broken up with—that, by divorcing her, her husband relieved her of the job of eventually leaving him. As my mom has said, when one person is unhappy, it usually means two people are unhappy but that one has not come to terms with it yet. Sandy hadn't realized how unhappy she was until he was gone.

Boys are broke. And when they do have money, they spend it on a trip to Colorado to see a music festival.

but when you get older, if you reference your successes in high school too much, it actually makes you look kind of pitiful, like some babbling old Tennessee Williams character with nothing else going on in her current life.

Jocelyn is willowy and half-Asian, and while fitting the bill technically for a model, has no interest in modeling. She's just that cool. Me, on the other hand, whenever I lose, like, five pounds, I basically start considering if I should "try out" modeling.

My parents didn't let me do social things on weeknights because weeknights were for homework, and maybe an episode of The X-Files if I was being a good kid (X-Files was on Friday night),

But a guy at thirty-two—he can act and dress like a grown man or a thirteen-year-old boy, and both are totally acceptable.

I finally felt like a big shot.

One thing you should know about me is that I am not a hugger. For the record, in New York, that is a perfectly acceptable way to be.

All the humiliation was worth it for the one shining moment when Amy Poehler proposed we walk a few blocks together, late at night, in New York City in 2006.

But it took me twelve weeks to realize that I don't really like organizations where people are "deemed" things. I should mention that I did learn a few undeniably useful things at my sorority,

Like any normal woman, I would see a dress, buy it, rip the tags off with my teeth, save the buttons for ten to twelve years in a drawer, and wear it to work. If I was going on a date, I might take a little extra care and use nail clippers to remove the tag, wear a cardigan on top, and cinch the whole look together with a wide belt.

In my mind, the sexiest thing in the world is the feeling that you're wanted. The slightly nervous asking of your phone number. The text message asking you to dinner. The simple overture of wanting me can satisfy my ego for a good long time.

time-wasting dominoes

and I went to Dartmouth to pursue my love of white people and North Face parkas.

I enjoy watching people fall in love on-screen so much that I can suspend my disbelief for the contrived situations that only happen in the heightened world of romantic comedies. I have come to enjoy the moment when the normal lead guy, say, slips and falls right on top of the hideously expensive wedding cake. I actually feel robbed when the female lead's dress doesn't get torn open at a baseball game while the JumboTron is on her.