Quotes from Bill Maher

If you believe that the world is coming to an end, perhaps any day now, does it not drain ones motivation to improve life on earth while we're here? The fact is religion must die for humans to live.

I really think when historians look back on our time they will not divide us into red and blue and Republican Democrat like the things that were wrong with us were wrong with both sides in different ways, I do think they manifest in a more dangerous way on the right. But on the left there is a rot and it comes from academia and it filters down.

This is America. We don't have adult discussions. We have Twitter.

Forget the Syria debate; we need a debate on why we are always debating on whether to bomb someone. Because we're starting to look not so much like the world's police men but more like George Zimmerman. Itching to use force and then pretending it's because we had no choice.

Not everything has to be political. You want to heal America? Shut the fuck up for a while.

There's a phrase we live by in America: "In God We Trust". It's right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.

Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant departure from the truth, today he got an offer from Fox News.

Love does not conquer all.

I love the Tea Party. They are the ultimate beer goggles. They make everything look better.

There's a new iPad out...People are going nuts for this thing...And, today, Mitt Romney said, 'It's a flat piece of white plastic. If you can love it, why not me?'

Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'

Tt just seems to be human nature to seem to want to posit in another human being, qualities that you must know, in part of your mind, that human being couldn't possess because you don't possess.

When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, 'I want to help you get teeth.' Why does that make me an a**hole?

Being a conservative also used to involve the concept of people being free to do whatever they want to do, as long as it doesn't hurt somebody else. Conservatives used to be very libertarian.

I just don't see why anybody would vote Republican in the Army. If you want to support the troops, if I was a troop, I would say, 'You know how to support me? Don't send me to stupid wars.'

I don't dislike children, I just don't particularly want to be around with them a lot. Problem is, neither do their parents.

I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is to realistically criticize what's wrong with it.

I believe only foreigners should run for president...Face it, the presidency is a lousy job. And who does lousy jobs we don't want anymore better than foreigners?

When you hear a lobby called Partnership for a Drug-Free America, just remember - they do not want a drug free America. They want an America free of drugs that are their competitors.

Did you see Britney Spears at the Video Music Awards? I don't want to say that that performance was a disaster, but after the show, I saw Rudy Giuliani having his picture taken standing on her.

I'm just honest. They [asians] don't want to see black people generally in their movies.

As a loyal American and I think a patriotic American, no, I don't want Sarah Palin to be president.

Have you ever met a war you didn't love? I'm asking, is there any place you don't want to intervene in?

When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you are not an imperialist, the best countries to have with you are Britain and Spain.