Quotes from Frank Zappa

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

What kind of man can name a child Moon Unit?

It's a despicable thing to share your personal inner torment for money.

Yeah, I tell them to change the channel if they see some guy in a brown suit with a telephone number at the bottom of the screen asking for money.

It's two o'clock in the morning, they're not going to get any nooky anyway, so this one guy and the guy with the t-shirt guy started sniffing the girls panties.

A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.

All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.

The typical rock fan is not smart enough to know when he is being dumped on.

Modern music is people who can't think signing artists who can't write songs to make records for people who can't hear.

I think the music of the Fifties is really good. I suspect it's much better musically than much of what's available now. Not in terms of production, but in terms of content.

The rock and roll business is pretty absurd, but the world of serious music is much worse.

Conducting" is when you draw "designs" in the nowhere-with a stick, or with your hands-which are interpreted as "instructional messages" by guys wearing bow ties who wish they were fishing.

Rock music was never written for or performed for conservative tastes.

I write the music I like. If other people like it, fine, they can go buy the albums. And if they don't like it, there's always Michael Jackson for them to listen to.

I don't think there's a problem. First of all, I don't think music turns people into social liabilities. Because you hear a lyric

Jazz isn't dead. It just smells funny.

Music is the most physically inspiring of all the arts.

I think pop music has done more for oral intercourse than anything else that has ever happened, and vice versa.

There isn't anything weird about my music.

Jazz is the music of unemployment.

The soul of our music, The Monkees' music, lies somewhere inbetween the 1 1/2 , the 2 1/2, the 3 3/4 and th giant C-major chord on the piano!

Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.

Unbind your mind, there is no time.

Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.