Quotes from Jennifer Crusie

He looked like every glossy frat boy in every nerd movie ever made, like every popular town boy who'd ever looked right through her in high school, like every rotten rich kid who'd ever belonged where she hadn't. My mama warned me about guys like you. He

Can we go to work now? Because we're about a minute away from breaking out the

Jane Austen was born before those bonds which (we are told) protected women from the truth were burst by the Brontës or elaborately untied by George Eliot.… Jane Austen may have been protected from truth: but it was precious little of truth that was protected from her." G.K. CHESTERTON

I've got you, Agnes, Taylor said, not fazed in the slightest. You had me, Taylor, Agnes said. Now you've got Brenda, you poor, doomed sap. And Joey 'The Gent' and Shane after your ass. You better go now. Your flunky is out in his van, and his feet are turning to ice while you wait. At any minute now, he's going to tear up that report and go somewhere far away until the wedding is over. Nah, he- And Shane's coming home any minute. Taylor looked over his shoulder.

Think before you eat, people: Food should be the life of you, not the death of you.

By the end of the afternoon, she had acquired a different, unprintable adjective for him.

One more stop at a jeweler Joey knew to cash in Agnes's engagement ring for top dollar and then he could go home and see what was in the bomb shelter. First guess, Frankie's body. Second guess, five million dollars. Third guess, a bunch of bad survival food and a dozen Playboy magazines from 1982. The third one was the most likely-

Her cell phone rang, the booming strains of the 'Ride of the Valkyries.' 'Speak of the devil,' she flipped open her cell phone with a sigh of resignation. 'Yes, Mom.

Daisy knew about proportion from art class, but she knew about men from life.

Lisa Livia caught one of the tubs of icing as it almost rolled off. Ick, she said. What's on this? It's sort of sticky. She looked closer. This is blood. Well, Shane picked it up for me. Agnes got a paper towel and wiped off the tub. Thoughtful of him.

Sexy is in your head and you don't feel sexy so you don't look it.

Don't let foolish assumptions about what's appropriate keep you from a good man. There are too few good men around to ignore one just because he's the perfect age for you.

Later, she couldn't remember whether she'd had time to stop, or if Donald's trying to ruin her potatoes the way he'd ruined everything else had made her temporarily insane. Whatever the reason, she stabbed him with the sharp, narrow, old-fashioned fork and hit a vein in the back of his hand. Donald screamed, and she shoved his hand away so he wouldn't get blood on her potatoes. "I'm so sorry, Donald," she said and took another bite.

Some things are supposed to be made with butter. You're one of them.

Laugh while you can, Monkey Girl

You want me to be philosophic about the future now? Cal said. I'm not even sure where I left my pants.

My team. A Spiritual Humanist cleaner, an old mobster, an addled swamp rat, and an angry food columnist. We'll get 'em next time, Garth said between coughs. Wasn't all your fault, Joey said, trying to get his shirttail up to his eyes. Go team, Shane thought, and pointed them in the direction of the Defender.

This is just biology. Men need multiple breasts in their lives. Women need to make a commitment to one penis

There were no safe places in life. That's why you had to keep moving

No more pipeline. I've lost all my interest in the West. The only thing I want to explore is you

You are neglecting a wounded woman , Brenda shrieked from her car, practically strangling herself on her seat belt. God knows, there's not one gentleman among you! Call on the devil to save you, you limb of Satan , Doyle yelled down. God couldn't see you if He tried, you black-hearted whore.

She wondered if anything ever made him sweat, and then she thought, I could

One hot August Thursday afternoon, Maddie Farady reached under the front seat of her husband's Cadillac and pulled out a pair of black lace underpants. They weren't hers.

My court-appointed psychiatrist says I should vent my anger in nonviolent physical excercise . She smacked him in the chest again, and he winced and caught her wrists. You know, Agnes, that's not the hottest thing any woman has ever said to me. She yanked her wrists free and pounded her fists into his chest again, then let go of his shirt to strip off her dress and throw it on the floor. He stopped frowning. Course, it's not the worst thing any woman has ever said to me, either.