Quotes from Jennifer Crusie

I was going to complain about the noise, Lisa Livia said, still looking fragile but much better than she had before, but now I'm just impressed. Leave it to the army to mechanize an erection. Laugh now, funny girl, Shane said. That's gonna be a bridge in about a minute. And that bridge can hold over sixty tons, Carpenter said. So it's a strong erection, Lisa Livia said, looking at Carpenter. Oh, yes, Carpenter said, standing more erect himself.

In fact, since my last two dates were so awful, things can only get better." "Bad deduction," Jessie said. "If that were true, I'd be dating Harrison Ford by now." "I'm

It had looked so simple when she'd made it, but when he cut into it and tasted it, he realized he'd missed some stuff while he'd been making coffee. There were herbs in there or spices or something, and the egg was light- Fluffy , he thought- and the pepper still had crunch to it but was buttery, too.

He began to eat, only half-distracted by Agnes's food this time- the ham crisp and sweet, the cakes thick and light, studded with pecans, the syrup falling in ropes to mix with the melting butter

Shane cut into the pancake and forked up a bite: light, tender, nutty, sweet, and buttery, just like Agnes. Home cooking.

Where's my Italian lace? Where's my bouffant sleeves? Where's my goddamn hoop skirt? The same place as your goddamned morals, you worthless tramp. It's been modernized, Brenda, Agnes said. When you pass something on to someone else, you have to expect changes. You don't get it back.

clearly he'd decided that his kid was more important than great sex, a decision Sophie applauded in the abstract but resented in the specific.

the only way to live life was to look for the best in every day and make sure I had a part in creating some of it.

She's startin' to show her age, bless her heart, Brenda said with satisfaction. She was up all night working on your dress for your granddaughter, Lisa Livia snapped. She was up all night ruining my wedding dress, Brenda shot back. Bless her heart, Agnes said. Brenda jerked back to glare at Agnes.

Well, nobody ever accused you of having taste , Brenda said, Bless your heart. Taylor, Agnes said. You can go now. You and the whore you rode in on. Bless her heart. Brenda exhaled through her teeth.

Shane looked around the rec room, trying not to linger on the Venus de Mildew and thought, The Fortunato taste in decorating. Probably causes genetic damage. Which would explain a lot about the family.

Excuse me," North said. "I'd like to continue this conversation but I find myself in need of a therapist.

She had to be the calmest woman in the world. Either that or she trusted him completely. That was depressing somehow. He went to take a cold shower.

It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't thought, for just that one night, that there was more.

What I want, when I'm done here, is to go back to the house and tell Agnes about my day, find out what happened during hers. That's always interesting.

That was some dame, huh? Joey said with a lopsided grin. Yeah, Shane agreed. I especially liked the rocket launcher accessory.

Oh," Jake said. "So, this is what you want?" "No," Kate said. "But this is what I've got.

Of course you might get shot, but you can't make an omelet without breaking eggs. She handed him a plate of deviled eggs. Have one.

What were you saying, Agnes? Taylor said, his smile widening. I was saying you're an evil moron whom fate and karma are going to take care of, Agnes said. Now your line is 'Who's Fate and Karma, and what did I ever do to them?' That's not funny, Taylor said. Agnes looked at Mr. Harrison. I thought it was a little funny, didn't you? A little, he said, smiling. Taylor glared at him and he shrugged.

You know who you remind me of? The kid cop in Lethal Weapon 3. You know, the one who says, 'it's my twenty-first birthday today', and right away you know he's dead meat?

Really, The smart thing to do was to stop dating and get a cat.