Quotes from Jennifer Crusie

You got shot at and you still got me an air conditioner.

I was standing in the doorway when he said hi," Amy said. "And from the look on his face, what he has for you is not the key to the city.

Statistics show that men are interested in three things: careers, sports, and sex. That's why they love professional cheerleaders.

On the very outside chance that we might play again, you should know that pool is the closest thing I have to a religion. Don't ever throw a game with me again.

Trying to seduce Alec at all was a waste of time; he came preseduced anyway. Like a microwave entrée. You pressed his buttons, and he got hot.

Wilder watched Armstrong head back to video village under the lights of the set, attacking another apple as she went, and thought, Apples and women . Not a good history there.

Infatuation is the fun part of falling in love. Infatuation triggers a chemical in the brain called PEA, your heart races, and you get breathless and dizzy, you tremble, and you can't think. It's what most people think of when they think of falling in love, and everybody goes through it.

Be sober, be vigilant because your adversary the Devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

That woman needs protecting like Rambo needs a bodyguard.

I have a date this afternoon. Oh, Lord. Jake closed his eyes. Who are you going to destroy now? I beg your pardon? The hotel would appreciate it if you'd just throw back the men you don't like without maiming them. I haven't maimed anyone. You almost drowned Lance, you scared Peter into heart palpitations, you stabbed Donald with a fork, and you hit Brad over the head with a bottle. Jake shook his head. And they still ask you out.

That furniture cost me a fortune! It's designer furniture. Designed by whom ? Darth Vader ? The Hitler Youth ?

No carbs her mother called after her as she went into the dressing room And no butter I know you stole me from my real parents Min called back. They'd let me eat butter

After you die, you're going to hell for being a dishonest bastard, and you'll burn for eternity. The guy snatched his hand back. I don't believe in Hell. Most people don't until they get there. Mab smiled at him. Of course, if you stop lying and cheating, you can probably redeem yourself. If not, have them put marshmallows in your coffin. There's a bight side to everything, I always say.

It was possible to love someone and hate him at the same time.

There never were any women who liked to cook for men everyday. There were only women who cooked for survival and pretended to like it. And now there are men who cook for survival. Like you. Think of this as survivalist training. Very macho.

Hello. I like you naked. Never wear clothes again.

You're not by any chance my stepmother are you? Min said to her mother's reflection. Because that would explain so much.

I have to give birth to be a good Ameican? No. There are more than four million babies born in this country every year. The American Way is covered. If it worries you, you can have extra to make up for mine.

Don't even think about it. Well, when can I walk by myself? When you get your driver's license. You always, always say that. Dillie scowled at him. That's when everything happens. It's going to be a busy day, Phin agreed.

Stephen Sondheim said : If you know where you're going, you've gone. Move on.

she was just…beaming at me, and I thought she'd won the lottery or something, her smile was that big. I asked what happened, and she said…" Park swallowed again. "She said, 'You're here."' He blinked at Tess. "'You're here.' That's all it was. That big goofy smile just because I was there. Nobody ever smiled like that at me before.

If you can't be a good example, settle for being a horrible warning

Everything will be fine. Nothing but good times ahead.

I have to see him and Trevor Ogilvie on Monday. Both senior partners at once. Good for you. I hope Jack's in trouble up to his neck. They're being blackmailed. Blackmail? Riley said, his voice full of disbelief. Jack? There's stuff out there that's even worse than the stuff everybody knows about him?