Quotes from Jennifer Crusie

Where were all the women gamblers? It wasn't as if being a woman wasn't a huge risk all by itself. Twenty-eight percent of female homocide victims were killed by husbands or lovers. Which, come to think of it, was probably why there weren't any women gamblers. Living with men was enough of a gamble.

Bet you ten bucks we make it. What are the odds? she thought, and realized with sudden, blinding clarity that she wouldn't take the other side of that bet, that only a loser would bet against them. This is really it, she thought, amazed. This is really forever. I believe in this. Min? he said, and she kissed him, putting all her heart into it. No bet, she said against his mouth. Your odds are too good. Our odds are too good

Feel no guilt. Getting married and giving birth does not mean that you have sold your life away to perfectly healthy people who can get their own damn socks.

Say, 'Thank you, Phin.' " "Oh, please." "Say, Thank youvery much, Phin. " "I don't think so." "Say, 'You are a great lover, Phin.' " "I'm out of here.

no more pep talks about believing in toads, Liza said. Don't they turn into princeses when you kiss them? Bonnie said. Thats frogs, Liza Said. Entirely different species.

Very few people mate for life with the people they fall for at twelve. Doesn't mean is isn't real, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, doesn't mean it doesn't matter, but basically, we're talking a practice swing in the big game of love.

I'm gonna have to get my eyes checked. I can't see crap until it's right in front of me

And why do you want to be near me? Because you're all I can think about, day and night. I don't know what the hell is going on with us; I only know I can't get rid of it. I don't care if you're batshit insane and think you're the reincarnation of Cleopatra. I hear voices; you hear dogs. We'll work it out. Maybe get a discount on therapy.

It was a lot easier when we could just brand'em, Ben said. Then everybody'd know not to mess with our womenfolk.

Say it," she said, and he said, "I love you. I'll always love you. Forever. It's a life sentence. Now put the damn ring on.

I could shove this swizzle stick through his heart, Min thought. She wouldn't do it, of course. The stick was plastic and not nearly pointed enough on the end. Also people didn't do things like that in Southern Ohio. A sawed-off shotgun, that was the ticket.

The measuring and mixing always smoothed out her thinking processes - nothing was as calming as creaming butter - and when the kitchen was warm from the oven overheating and the smell of baking chocolate, she took final stock of where she'd been and where she was going. Everything was fine.

That's not a father. That's a sperm donor. Forget him. He's a mess. Concentrate on me. I'm terrific. -(Linc Blaise)

If you haven't failed, you're not trying hard enough.

Okay, Shane, Agnes said as Brenda's clock gonged midnight. I got Joey in the kitchen, a cop in the front hall, a dead body in the basement, and you in my bedroom. Where do you want to start?

Dead woman are not romantic,' Sophie said flatly. 'Okay, she's not dead,' Phin said. 'The bear ate her, and she came her brains out.

She slid out from under his arm, and picked up his shirt from the floor. When she put it on, it failed to meet in the middle over her chest. that always worked in the movies, she thought, disgusted, and dropped it on the floor.

Wonder of wonders, the box had Elvis. Immediately the bar seemed a better place. She fed in coins and then punched the keys for Hound Dog. Too bad Elvis had never recorded one called Dickhead.

Every species has a dinner date as part of courting ritual. A woman who won't let you pay for dinner is rejecting your courtship. She may think she's playing fair, or that she's being a feminist, but a very deep level, she knows that she's crossing you off her list of possibilities.

Well, you won't unless you come to lunch with me, Cal said. I'm holding it for ransom. There's a gun to its heel right now. I have lunch at my desk, Min began, and thought,Oh, for crying out loud, could I beany more pathetic ? Emilio is experimenting with a lunch menu. He needs you. I need you.

First, I'm not getting married, so you can forget the wife. Second, if I was insane enough to get married, I wouldn't have kids. Third, if I was insane enough to get married and have kids, it would be a cold day in hell I'd let you babysit.

Part of being a writer is defending your vision and not caving in to outside pressures.

This is a woman you've known less than twelve hours. It took you a year to pick out a couch, but you're seriously— "Yes," Roger said. "She's the one.

Have you talked to North? he said. Yes, she said. I asked him to get us cable. I wish you weren't talking to him. I'd talk to Satan to get cable, Andie said.