Quotes from Jennifer Crusie

You're planning on being disappointed, you'd be disappointed if you weren't disappointed, your whole world view depends on men disappointing you. Well, that's just cowardly.

Why are you offering me ten thousand dollars a month for babysitting? You didn't pay the nannies that. It's ridiculous. For ten thousand a month, you should not only get child care, you should get your house cleaned, your laundry done, your tires rotated, and if I were you, I'd insist on nightly blow jobs. Did you think I wouldn't notice that you're still trying to keep your thumb on me?

Everything outside of here is vulnerable, but this tower, this room, is where we can make a stand if we have to. This is our Alamo. Everybody died at the Alamo. What's the midway, the Little Big Horn? Ethan looked at her, exasperated. She shrugged. I'm just saying that ifyou want to rally the troops, avoid the A word.

What about the check? Suze said. Pay it, he called back. This is your party. I don't like him, Suze said to Margie. Margie slid out of the booth. Think of him as a growth experience. Oh, good, I've been wanting one of those, Suze said and tossed a twenty on the table. It was too much, but she was in a hurry to steal a dog.

He picked up the biscuit box and said, Come on, Marlene. Back into hiding in case somebody comes looking for you, although only God knows why anybody would. Marlene? Nell said. I'm not calling anything SugarPie, Riley said. That's obscene.

Luke is the father of the heart, Richard is the father of the mind, and Christopher is the father of the body.

I was raised to be charming, not sincere.

Quinn talked with her entire body: arms, eyes, shoulders, mouth. She was performance art, so alive that sometimes he argued with her just so he could watch her flush and gesture.

I'm a feminist," Quinn said. "We get irrational urges.

At eleven, Kate woke Jake up when she went searching in the cooler for juice. You know, you used to be peaceful, he grumbled. I can't believe you were ever married. Kate said, as she cracked the can open. What did you do, make her stand in the corner all the time?

Lane and Zack got hitched. So while it might not be very punk rock to be too young to drink legally at your own wedding, it's certainly handy to have the thumbs up from God to get laid.

Does it ever occur to you not to sleep with women? No, Riley said.

If she'd just kept her mouth shut, she would have been perfect, but no...

No, this wasn't just about sex, but for the next hour or so, it was going to be mostly about sex.

Life is more than great sex and a nice car." "Well, yeah. But not a lot more.

What are we going to do with the body? She had visions of dragging it into the swamp, whispering, Here, gator, gator, and she made a little sound of distress at the thought.

Paris is Rory without Lorelai's influence to draw her out of her books and into the wider world.

Jake ignored him and went on. "If I ever do hook up with anybody again - and I sincerely doubt that I will, so wipe that hopeful look off your face - it will be with someone who thinks that being with somebody who mows lawns is her idea of heaven on earth and who will do exactly what I tell her to do and love it. I think Donna Reed is dead, Will said.

I'm fine, Kate said. In fact, since my last two dates were so awful, things can only get better. Bad deduction, Jessie said. If that were true, I'd be dating Harrison Ford by now.

Allie put her chin on his shoulder to look into the carton. He had great shoulders and Chinese food. At the moment, he was the perfect man.

I'm stuck in the old me, and I don't know how to get out. I just know the old me isn't the real me anymore.

You don't believe in unconditional love. Neither does Alex. So you both threw away the best thing you ever had because you didn't believe in each other or yourselves.

The thing about women is that they got liberated too fast. They never learned to be straightforward about life because they had to sneak around for about a thousand years tricking men into doing things they wanted. So they manipulate you instead of telling you what they want, so you never know where the hell you are. And then they get mad at you and bitch.

If you're going to have an asthma attack in the surf, I strongly recommend you do so in Nantucket.