Quotes from Gary L. Thomas

you don't marry a position. You marry a person.

the story of Isaac and Rebekah is an account of what was, but not necessarily of what should be for all of God's people.

One of Satan's cleverest attacks is getting us to pour our time and energy into people who resent the grace we share and who will never change, keeping us from spending time with and focusing on others whom we can love and serve.

Sometimes to follow in the footsteps of Jesus is to walk away from others or to let them walk away from us.

Being "married for a mission" can revitalize a lot of marriages in which the partners think they suffer from a lack of compatibility; my suspicion is that many of these couples actually suffer from a lack of purpose.

A defeatist attitude kills almost as many marriages as do affairs.

when truth is rejected, spend your time on those who will receive it instead of begging closed-hearted people to reconsider.

The warning behind this reality is that if we make too much of marriage, we make too little of our relationship with God. And when we make too little of our relationship with God, we undercut our source of love, which makes success in marriage less likely. Focusing on marriage too much is, ironically enough, the best way to kill it. Men

Let us become intentional to use personal slights, inconveniences, acts of gossip and slander, times of difficulty, and even sickness as opportunities to grow in patience and understanding and humility instead of bitterly resenting each one.

The first line of defense against toxicity in the world must therefore be launched by believers who practice self-control.

Even if you're a giver who likes to give, it's exhausting being married to a taker. A taker will suck the life out of you in many ways, and in one sense undercut your ability to minister to others.

View marriage as an entryway into sanctification — as a relationship that will reveal your sinful behaviors and attitudes and give you the opportunity to address them before the Lord. But here's the challenge: Don't give in to the temptation to resent your partner as your own weaknesses are revealed. Don't run from what you are hearing about yourself, or push your spouse away because of it — accept it and use it to grow.

In this fallen world, struggles, sin, and unfaithfulness are a given. The only question is whether our response to these struggles, sin, and unfaithfulness will draw us closer to God—or whether it will estrange us from ourselves, our Creator, and each other.

Here's the reality: many women are led into marriage primarily through romantic idealism, and many men are swept to the altar through sexual attraction. Before you can make a wise marital choice, you have to rid yourself of inferior motivations. The wrong why will lead you to the wrong who.

Understanding the truth is the doorway to new life. And understanding the truth often requires the use of labels. Honoring someone, whether that person is a boss, parent, or spouse, doesn't mean we have to pretend they're something they're not. Honoring and honesty can exist side by side.

We can assume that when the Bible teaches submission, God knew full well that wives would have to watch their husbands fail and make mistakes. Thankfully, this verse also presents some boundaries. If you submit "out of reverence for Christ," you are never obligated — ever — to do anything that would offend Christ.

Does your Christian (partner) pray? ... if not, you'll walk through life without the person who knows you most lifting you up in prayerful support. You'll be the only one supporting your kids in prayer. You'll be married to someone who isn't opening themselves up to gods conviction encouragement and support.

When we live for ourselves, we become boring. Most of us are simply not interesting enough on our own to captivate someone else for five or six decades.

have had to come to grips with the fact that people have lied and will lie about me; they will rip a few sentences out of context, twist a few passages, and make me sound like I believe something I don't because they need something to be angry about and oppose.

Heloise learned to love Abelard solely for who he was. That forbidden love brought her nothing but pain, but she would rather have shame and pain with Abelard than peace and happiness without him.

Walking toward the music" isn't a bad philosophy of life. Doors might seem closed, the evening might seem prematurely over, but if you can catch a glimpse of nightlife or hear the sound of music in the distance, why not walk toward it and see what you find?

It's sort of like signing a mortgage or buying a business while drunk. You need to "dry out" a bit and think this thing through before you commit the rest of your life to someone you can't objectively evaluate

The warning behind this reality is that if we make too much of marriage, we make too little of our relationship with God. And when we make too little of our relationship with God, we undercut our source of love, which makes success in marriage less likely. Focusing on marriage too much is, ironically enough, the best way to kill it.

Gary and Betsy Ricucci point out, "Our Lord has sovereignly ordained that our refining process take place as we go through difficulties, not around them. The Bible is filled with examples of those who overcame as they passed through the desert, the Red Sea, the fiery furnace and ultimately the cross. God doesn't protect Christians from their problems—he helps them walk victoriously through their problems."1