Quotes About Humor

Statistics are like a drunk with a lampost: used more for support than illumination.

the distance needed for humor is always missing from dreams.

It appears that time has turned that young woman, who imagined herself a romantic heroine, into something of a comic character, but I remain fond of her. We are relatives, after all.

A comedy depends on stopping the story at exactly the right moment.

Jesus loves you... He's not 'in love' with you.

Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it?

I love kids, but they are a tough audience.

I'm such a comedy fan that I just love laughing and so admire comedians who have brought me joy.

Whenever someone dies everyone says, I love that guy, except for Jeffrey Dahmer.

Muhammad Ali was the kind of guy you either loved or hated, but you wanted to see him. I happen to really love him. He brought boxing to another level and always made you laugh.

I love Americans, but not when they try to talk French. What a blessing it is that they never try to talk English.

His motto is "Love Thy Neighbor". His neighbor is an 18 year old hooker.

I love fat people. Every fat person says it's not their fault, that they have gland trouble. You know which gland? The saliva gland.

I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.

One of the things that we love most about our comedy [ American Reunion] is that it goes all-out.

I always bring my kids vacation souvenirs printed in Comic Sans, so they know I love them but not unconditionally.

Declarations of love amuse me. Especially when unrequited.

I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor.

I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable.

You might be a redneck if you're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing I Will Always Love You.

The Americans all love 'The Holy Grail', and the English all love 'Life Of Brian', and I'm afraid on this one, I side with the English.

The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.

I love playing a dad. It's hard to find family dramas that are genuinely funny.

I bought a new book, '100 new ways to make love'. I ended up in traction - it was a misprint.