Quotes About Humor

My father once dropped fifty pence, bent down to pick it up and it hit him on the back of the neck. He used to wake up at night to see if he'd lost any sleep.

was brought up as a wee Glasgow Catholic. As a consequence, I went to a really weird school: Our Lady of Perpetual Pre-Menstrual Tension. It was fucking hard going, let me tell you.

Never trust a man who, when left alone in a room with a tea cosy, doesn't try it on.

The kind of people who spoke mostly Yiddish, which is a combination of German and phlegm. This is a language of coughing and spitting; until I was eleven, I wore a raincoat.

I miss those days, those midnight hours on the turnpike with nothing on the road but trucks and me, and nothing on my mind but the act and how I could make it funnier.

The quickest way to defuse fear or insecurity or anger is usually humor. I think comics figure that out quickly, and, once you figure it out, you think, 'Hey, if I can do this and get paid, that would be kind of cool.'

A keen sense of humor helps us to overlook the unbecoming, understand the unconventional, tolerated the unpleasant, overcome the unexpected, and outlast the unbearable

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.

Worship leader George Beverly Shea kidded Billy Graham that the latter would be unemployed in Heaven -- while Shea would still have a job leading worship.

With a twinkle in his eyes, my friend says that his favorite prayer is, "Lord, give me patience—and give it to me right now!

A keen sense of humor helps us to overlook the unbecoming, understand the unconventional, tolerate the unpleasant, overcome the unexpected, and outlast the unbearable.

There's nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex.

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun.

Billy Hey I'm trying to score points with the teacher today. DON'T SCREW IT UP. 3rd Grader I dare you to touch her boobs. Billy Touch her boobs That's assault brotha...... Ya double dare me

Billy Sometimes I feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot, so it kinda works out.

If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.

Jerry: Oh, you don't understand, Osgood! Ehhhh... I'm a man. Osgood: Well, nobody's perfect.

If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you.

Henry told me he is often the life of the party, as if he didn't already know that to be the life of the party is the most sad and pathetic of all things to be.

Happy birthday to a person that's charming, talented, and witty, and reminds me a lot of myself.

Kyouya my hair stylist. Mori-senpi go to the eye doctor and get him some contact lenses. -Tamaki What about me Tama-chan? -Hunny Hunny senpi. -Tamaki Yes sir! -Hunny You... go have some cake. -Tamaki It's just us Ousa-chan.Everyone else said they were too busy. . . -Hunny

Come on sempai, would you please stop growing mushrooms in other people's closets? -Haruhi