Quotes About Humor

LAVINIA: Oh Edward! The point is, that since I've been away I see that I've taken you much too seriously. And now I can see how absurd you are. EDWARD: That is a very serious conclusion to have arrived at in...how many?...thirty-two hours.

Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain lonesome.

The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely.

And I have seen the eternal footman hold my coat and snicker.

It's amazing the stupid things I say sometimes. I mean, you could start an entire branch of scientific research about the stuff I say that gets proved wrong while I'm still busy saying it.

See, vodka, that's drinking. Beer—well, beer is just getting the inside of your mouth wet.

What, you don't have a sofa gun? I thought everyone did.

Dear Diary Went out shopping today. Picked up half a dozen sheep, two pigs, and a princess. The sheep are rather depressingly thin, the pigs and princess only slightly less so. Dear Diary Went out shopping today. Picked up half a dozen sheep, two pigs, and a princess. The sheep are rather depressingly thin, the pigs and princess only slightly less so.

I asked that goddess for help, and all we got were these stupid monkeys.

Still, it was better than being trampled by teddy bears.

Lead the way. Just remember that I'm not a very good climber. Not very good? Beetledown laughed. Like a dog with one leg, to put truth to it.

Nu börjar livet! utropade Erik Göransson och dog.

Nog vore det skojigt för det lilla barnet att få ett litet syskon alltid. Ja, titta inte på mig, svarade Gudrun, Nu är det allt din tur!

Maybe we could put this off until I do something more impressive than puke on a suspect who shit all over the interview room. We could, but seriously, how are you going to top that?

If I'm gonna get fired for drinking on the job, I'm going to go down drinking a man's drink, Kovac said, raising his mug. Belching and farting all the way. Damn straight. You're a man's man, my friend. A credit to our gender. I'm proud to know you.

Does your ma know you're this silly? she demanded tartly. He nodded, comically sad. The few gray hairs she has on her head are my doing. But — with an exaggerated change of mood — I send her plenty of money, so she can pay to have them dyed! I hope she beat you as a child, Onua grumbled.

I'd like to find whoever taught the Stump that extra work builds character and push him down the stairs, Neal told Kel at lunch.

But, Sergeant Osbern, Sir, I like my head.

And if wishes were pies, I`d weigh more than I do. Sir Myles of Barony Olau

Why do I get the feeling that if you give me a hard time, I'll tell all of our year-mates your family nickname is Meathead?

He's just rather more lively than most fossils.

What's dry?' 'Good question. Next question!

Oh! I'm stupid as well as insane.

I will be known forever as the Puppy who chased a cutpurse and caught fish garbage instead. My descendants will pretend I'm not in their bloodline. No – no one will want to make descendants with me. [from Beka Cooper's journal of her first day as a new Dog i.e. cop]