Quotes About Humor

Jazz isn't dead. It just smells funny.

Tobacco is my favorite vegetable.

The overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities a sense of humor and a sense of proportion.

I sometimes think that the saving grace of America lies in the fact that the overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities- a sense of humor and a sense of proportion.

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.

Every time we tell anybody to cheer up, things might be worse, we run away for fear we might be asked to specify how.

Joe Hardy to Frank Hardy: "Age before beauty

Yes, I'm shallow, I don't mind admitting it. Perhaps I should admit that there's no end to the depths of my shallowness.

I adore complaining— it calms the nerves

I've been thinking," said the Eldric image. "Ooh, thinking!" I said. "Shall I tell your father?" "Very funny," said Eldric, but he was laughing.

Never punch from the elbow." "Of course not," I said. "Only a stupidibus would fight like that." Guess what? I can punch as well as make people laugh.

In a world divided by chimpophiles and bonobophiles, we all had a good laugh when Stephen peeled his banana. (62)

tradition has it that disputes which break out in a village are worked out in public. By this I mean collective self-criticism with a touch of humor because everyone is relaxed, because in the end we all want the same thing.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a firefly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart.

Jack Benny's so cheap he wouldn't give you the parsley off his fish.

A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.

A good comedian can say things funny and other guys just say funny things.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

That's a joke, son!

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap.

Condensed milk is wonderful. I don't see how they can get a cow to sit down on those little cans.

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.