Quotes About Humor

Brian, relax, man. You've gotta relax when you make the crank calls.

What kind of idiot would knowingly date a girl named Knives?

Scott, you are the salt of the earth. Oh, I'm sorry, excuse me. I meant scum of the earth.

Ooh, go ahead and poke fun at my poor queenology, Canada boy.

Didn't you know? Todd's vegan.

What do you suppose we would do, I said conversationally, if we ever had sex? I mean, what would we call each other? Captain and Walker? Morrison and Detective? Or would we just find excuses to not call each other anything?

Cute. Who is she?" "The devil." "Really. I thought the devil would be taller.

Obviously I'm doing something wrong," Russell said dryly. "I thought vacations involved white sand beaches and cerulean skies, not concussions and working over the weekend.

I never did very well in math-I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

All White House hopefuls we forewarn: You'll have to prove that you were born. Before Trump hits the state of granite, He must identify the planet Where he first took on human form - A place where blowhards are the norm.

I am firmly committed to the proposition that whoever is in power is exceedingly silly.... And that goes for the opposition as well.

Do my ears deceive me, or can I actually hear the sounds of worms turning? You say a turning worm makes no sound? But how about a chorus of turning worms?

I marvelled at her capabilities as a mother - naturally empathic but no pushover, funny and generous, frank about her own limitations and the challenges of parenting, loving and affectionate but unsentimental - absolutely solid in her role.

There are so many beautiful girls around that after a while you start looking for someone who can make you laugh

I don't know. There are so many beautiful girls around, that after a while you start looking for someone, who can make you laugh.

Be flirty but not too flirty. Be confident but not aggressive. Be funny but in a low-key, quiet way. Eat cheeseburgers, but don't get fat. Be chill, but don't lose control.

the day you stopped appreciating the sublimely silly things in life was the day you became a dried-up old turd.

Whatever happens, I'm glad we ate that bleeping lizard.

He paused and manufactured a chuckle.

The other day, one of the big shots was trying to say 'Nice shoes!' and he accidentally told a government minister that his face looked like a butt wart. Not good.

When Yancy arrived, Sonny Summers was at a two-top morosely scanning the menu. "What looks good?" Yancy joked. "The door.

Don't order the fish," Yancy advised Merry when they sat down. "But it's a seafood joint." "More like a petri dish with menus. When they say 'catch of the day,' they mean infection." Brennan

She said there was no tactful way for a naked person to cope with a runny nose, especially while dancing. Orly grudgingly agreed.

Officer Delinko thought the bald man must have a good sense of humor to go by such a nickname, but he was wrong. Curly was cranky and unsmiling.