Quotes About Humor

People who say it's a long story mean it's a stupid short one that they're too embarrassed and couldn't be bothered to tell.

Oh, it's called, em...' Kate thinks, 'I can't remember what it's called.' 'You're the same as me,' Dad says to her. 'You've got CRAFT too.' 'What's that?' 'Can't. Remember. A. Fuc-

You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

Stay with me', Brenda offered. ' We could always use some fresh blood'. 'No. I don't want to.' 'Why not?' 'You'd get on my nerves. And Bryan just, you know, hovers,' I admitted. Adrienne and Dad started laughing. Adam looked amused even though he had no idea who Bryan was. 'That's true, he does hover,' Adrienne giggled. ' I'd never realised that before.

Kad kažu da je nešto duga pri?a, ljudi obi?no žele re?i da je pri?a kratka, ali toliko glupa da ju se stide ispri?ati.

Rosie: I know what it is. You just don't want me to be single because I'm a distraction to you. If I'm with a man then you think that perhaps you just might be able to keep your hands off me. I know deep down that's what this is all about. I've sussed you out, Alex Stewart. You love me. You want me to have your babies. You can't stand another day without me. Alex: I... don't no what to say... Rosie: Relax, I'm joking. What happened to make you change your mind about Bethany?

Fuck you," Tinsley shot back, but it was one of those friendly fuck-yous that you can only say to people you love.

RyanReynolds : You and Kara, huh? So that's why we've never hooked up! BrettMesserschmidt : No. That would be because I hate you. :) RyanReynolds: Oh.

Food that walked and talked, that was us. McPeople.

Charlaine Harris

Come on, I said, taking his hand. Clutching the afghan with the other hand, he trailed down the hall after me, a snow white giant in tiny red underwear.

Eric: ''What part do you like best?'' Sookie: ''oh your butt'' Eric: ''My...Bottom?'' Sookie: ''yep

I stroked Eric's hair, tucking some behind his ear. His eyes on mine were intent, and I knew he was waiting for me to speak. I wish, I said, I could save orgasms in a jar for when i need them, because I think I had a few extra. Eric's eyes widened, and all of a sudden he roared with laughter. (Dead to the World)

Oh come on Pam, they're funny. They're like humans but miniature...tea cup humans!

Pam: Claude, the mouthwateringly beautiful asshole?

It was one of God's jokes that such a dumb mind had been put in such an eloquent body.

I didn't know what to think about first: me seeing Claude naked, Claude seeing me naked, or the whole fact that we were related and naked in the same room. (Sookie Stackhouse, Dead in the Family)

It's called Two and a Half Men," Dermot was telling his guest. "I understand," Bellenos said. "Because the two brothers are grown, and the son isn't." "I think so," Dermot said. "Don't you think the son is useless?" "The half? Yes. At home, we'd eat him," Bellenos said.

Alcide: It's on my right butt cheek. It's shaped like a rabbit. Sookie: I love bunnies!

Sookie: Hey, our hair's the same color. Eric: Sure is, Girlfriend.

Pam. Listen.' 'The phone is pressed to my ear. Speak.' 'Appius Livius Ocella just dropped in.' 'Fuck a zombie!' - Sookie & Pam, Dead in the Family, Charlaine Harris

I was so sleepy (and sore) that another bout of sex was out of the question, unless Eric had suddenly developed an interest in necrophilia.

Sookie: Eric, when I'm back to being myself, I'm going to nail your ass for putting me in this position of being pledged to you. Eric: Darling, you can nail my ass anytime, he said charmingly, and turned to go back to his table. Pam rolled her eyes. You two, she said. Hey this isn't any of my doing, I said, which wasn't entirely true. But it was a good exit line, and I took advantage of it to leave the bar.

That's just not right, Sam muttered. Claude needs to keep his pants on.