Quotes About Humor

I guess my height has hurt me as much as it's helped me. In comedy people don't mind casting tall women next to shorter men. It adds to the humour.

Fiddling knobs, touching keys, having fun with a full grown man.

I've always liked older men. They're just more attractive to me. Of course, at my age there aren't that many left!

Married men live longer. Yes. And an indoor cat also lives longer. It's a furball with a broken spirit, that can only look out on a world it can never enjoy. But it does technically live longer.

When you see grown men near to tears because they've missed hitting a little white ball into a hole from three feet, it makes you laugh.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

I can like men who are a little light in the loafers.

I'd like to get married because I like the idea of a man being required by law to sleep with me every night.

My God, look at the size of this man! Quick! Tell the other villagers we're going back to the boats!

Naw, man, I like big, hard, throbbing co- (stunned pause) ...I did not know that about myself.

Men. You can't live with them, you can't shoot them.

I have a fantastic husband. Here's the honeymoon part: I still think he's the funniest, wittiest, most clever man I've ever known.

The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.

What a marshmallow. You should hold out for someone with a stronger stomach. Someone who laughs at the gore that makes weaker men vomit.

Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

There is not a man in America who has not had a secret ambition to boot an infant.

A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.

I received a card the other day from Steve Early which said, "Don't Worry Me--I am an 8 Ulcer Man on 4 Ulcer Pay.

Though with Bridget Jones's Baby: the Diaries, I'd like to make it clear that I did not ever get pregnant by two men.

Men will let you abuse them if only you will make them laugh.

The rabbis paled. I'd managed to terrify holy men. Maybe I could beat up a nun for an encore.

"Nasty Man" isn't a laughing matter, but you have to laugh anyway. The song, itself, becomes something of a laughing matter because we'd go crazy if we didn't keep laughing.

But Opera Man, I go, "Oh, crap! Why didn't I think of that?" Because I could sing fake opera pretty good.

If ridicule were employed to laugh men out of vice and folly, it might be of some use.