Quotes About Humor

We laughed. Ha, ha, we went. Ha, ha, ha. I'm not laughing now. Never has a joke filled me with such nausea and paranoia and insecurity and self-pity and dread and doubt.

He was kind, he was single, he was vulnerable, he made her laugh (not always intentionally, true, but often enough). Every time she saw him, he seemed to have become a little more handsome.

Kurkov loves his weltschmerz as much as the next guy--but he doesn't see why weltschmerz shouldn't come bundled up with a narrative that kicks a little bit of ass--the edge of the left cheek, say.

They had flown from England to Minneapolis to look at a toilet.

She wanted to be given a funny script so that she could make it funnier.

Jackie and Phil are the most boring people in the southeast of England, possibly because they've been married too long, and therefore have nothing to talk about, apart from how long they've been married. In the end, I am reduced to asking them, in a joking sort of way, for the secret of their success; I was only saving time, because I think they would have told me anyway.

to father) Aren't you glad that you've never had to buy vegeterian cookery books as the first small step on the road to getting inside someone's knickers? (father) ...however vegeterian recepies you have read, you still have more fun than we were ever allowed.

Sometimes I got so bored of trying to touch her breasts that I would try to touch her between her legs, a gesture that had a sort of self-parodying wit about it: it was like trying to borrow a fiver, getting turned down, and asking to borrow fifty quid instead. These

lots of blokes have a Woody Allen sense of humor but look like Woody Allen.

Dan and Steve. I've know them for years. They're a bit dull, I'm afraid, but I have to see them sometimes. Duck noires, right? Sorry? I call 'em duck noires. Sort of a mixture of lame duck and bête noire. People you don't want to see but kinda feel you should.

Anyone who thinks text messages are funny isn't going to kill himself. There isn't enough going on internally.

It's often the way that people who take their work seriously laugh at stupid jokes; it's as if they are under-humoured and, as a consequence, suffer from premature laugh-ejaculation.

Any desire for a family of your own yet? I would rather eat one of Barney's dirty diapers, he thought. Not yet, he said.

Some of it can, of course. The new satirical shows

What it was really about was people not having sex when they wanted it. A lot of British comedy was about that, Barbara had noticed.

Don't eat cheese before talking to cows

Chicken butt fried in grease want a piece

left to my own devices, I'm content to wake myself with a fart.

Maybe this is how I'll go, in a fit of laughter, what could be better, laughing and crying, laughing and singing, laughing so as to forget that I am alone, that it is the end of my life, that death is waiting outside the door for me.

Nothing succeeds if prankishness has no part in it.

There once was a man who said 'God Must think it exceedingly odd     If he finds that this tree     Continues to be When there's no one about in the Quad.

P.S. Hey what has 48 legs and 12 teeth? The front row in Alabama…

You know what sums their relationship up? The time that Tommy was running naked down the hallways of a hotel in Ohio and the police arrived, went to the room next door and arrested Mick for it.

I've never known which is funnier—Aerosmith writing "Dude Looks Like a Lady" about Vince, or Dire Straits writing "Money for Nothing (and Chicks for Free)" about Mötley. SEPTERMBER