Quotes About Humor

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

Tis but a scratch!" "A scratch? Your arm's off!" "No it isn't." "Then what's that?" "Oh come on, pansy!

One, two, ... five!" "Three, my lord.

I fart in your general direction.

Camelot is a silly place.

She turned me into a newt. ... But I got better...

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean?

All my jobs have been with food in one way or another since 1948. My parents were in the hotel business, and I just loved the warm hearted people who worked so hard with such good humor.

Well, just like the feller said when he showed up at the fancy-dress ball with a rubber johnny on his beezer and the doorman asked him what he'd come as –"fuck nose".

So his ego was the size of Uranus—and, no, the pun is not unintentional.

Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

That leaves the allegation that atheists are humourless. There are atheist jokes. Here is a modest example. A Jewish atheist enrols his son in what he is told is the best school in town. The school is Catholic. All starts well. Then, one day, his son comes home and says: 'Today, I learned about the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.' The father is furious. 'Steve, listen carefully. This is very important. There is only one God … and we do not believe in Him!

It me birthday and nobody came...Bigfoot decide do something nice for self for big day and sneak in they house at night and pick out own present and blow out flickering candle of life in they brains. Make a wish, jerks.

Yes, everyone know Bigfoot smell like shit. Please make effort not to point out every time you see Bigfoot. Thank you.

Why don't you do some Bee CPR? BPR!

It wasn't a beautiful face. But it was a nice face. It wasn't a face that could launch a thousand ships. Maybe two ships and a small yacht.

Lister patted the towel rail against his left palm. 'I'm going out like I came in - screaming and kicking.' 'You can't whack Death on the head.' 'If he comes near me, I'll rip his tits off.

Just a pot noodle. Oh - and I found a tin of dog food on the tool shelf.' Misery hissed through Lister's gritted teeth. 'Well,' he said finally. 'Pretty obvious what gets eaten last. I can't stand pot noodles.

Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast." Ace Rimmer

He slipped the gold fob-watch out of his waistcoat, flicked open the cover and stared at the dial. The Cat had replaced the conventional numbers with a series of symbols, which stood for 'food', 'sex', 'snooze', 'light snooze', 'heavy snooze', 'major sleep', 'self-adoration hour', 'preening' and 'bathtime'. Right now, it was twenty past sex, or, to put it another way, quarter to food.

If I'd said that to my sensible, smutty, twelve-year-old self, he would have laughed until he hemorrhaged

But if he starts to get you down, just remember: everything he says comes from halfway up his anus.

I can't not find humor in elements of most parts of life, but at the same time nothing ever seems perpetually funny to me.

the splat of pies would become a regular component of slapstick, and no one was more adept at throwing them than Arbuckle. The ambidextrous actor sometimes accurately hurled two pies in opposite directions simultaneously.