Quotes About Humor

More men than women like 'Strangers With Candy'. Pretty girls don't like the show. They don't like to see an ugly lady.

An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women's Affairs. Man, who'd she have to show here ankles to to get that job?

At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.

A homely woman is one of the most comely of apes.

A new study found that women think men holding a guitar are more attractive, even if they are not playing it. In a related story, guys with an accordion will die alone.

Women are very funny. Some of the funniest people I can think of are women.

Women! Can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em!

Never try to outsmart a woman, unless you are another woman.

I love a lot of comedy actors and actresses like Kristen Wiig and Tina Fey and all those women who are really brilliant and funny.

Women who are not living ought to spend all their time cracking jokes. In a rotten society women grow witty; making a heaven while they wait.

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody.

Women my age just don't turn me on. That's another problem with getting older. I took out an older woman the other night, and I mean old. I told her, Act your age. She died.

What I don't understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.

What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do.

It was enormously challenging because you want that all-American girl, but you also want the cool WASP, privileged white girl. Usually, women in that package aren't funny.

I don't date women my age. There aren't any.

If I'm not the sexiest man alive, explain why so many women married me.

There are some women out there who are just going to look better with a mustache: that's statistics.

Studying literature at Harvard is like learning about women at the Mayo Clinic.

Here's the thing: I'm not in shape.

It's good practice to be silly. It's good for you.

The main trouble with women is that they will just not put the seat back up again.

A black widow loves her mate then kills him. A praying mantis loves her mate then eats him. Women love my dad, but he's too big to eat.

It's me," said Jace. "Watching me play Scrabble is enough to make most women swoon. Imagine if I actually put in some effort.